Magazine

Tired dad holding a baby in a bamboo blanket looking at a clock

When Do Babies Switch To One Nap

I'm currently staring at a baby monitor that displays a room temperature of exactly 68.4 degrees and an 11-month-old standing in his crib, aggressively shaking the rails like a tiny, sleep-deprived prisoner. It's 10:15 AM. This is supposed to be...

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Exhausted dad staring at his phone while holding an 11-month-old baby boy in a dark Portland nursery.

A Dad's Tech Guide to Figuring Out When Is Baby Boi Dropping

It was 2:14 AM. The baby monitor was glowing with that sinister green night-vision hue that makes my eleven-month-old look like a paranormal entity trapped in a crib. My phone vibrated on the nightstand, blinding me with the lock screen....

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Sleep deprived father holding a teething toy and staring at his phone in shock

The "Babi Chula Porn" Typo: A Warning to Sleep-Deprived Parents

Dear Tom from exactly six months ago, You're currently sitting in the nursery rocking chair at 3:14 am, bathed in the harsh blue light of your smartphone while Twin A attempts to extract your left incisor with her surprisingly sharp...

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Close up of a tired father examining his newborn baby's slate grey eyes

Predicting the Unpredictable: The Truth About Infant Eye Color

I was sitting under the punishing, flickering fluorescent lights of the NHS maternity ward, nursing a tepid cup of instant coffee, when Twin A finally opened her eyes and looked right at me. I had spent the better part of...

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A confused dad standing next to a backyard smoker holding a baby and barbecue tongs.

A Dad's Guide to Smoking Baby Back Ribs for Tiny Humans

Dear Marcus from exactly six months ago, You're currently standing on the back patio in the Portland drizzle. You have a pair of metal tongs in one hand and your phone in the other, aggressively Googling Traeger recipes. Inside, your...

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Kianao wooden rainbow play gym with colorful hanging animal toys for sensory development

Why The Baby Ashlee Nudes Color Trend Needs To Stop Right Now

I was elbow-deep in a laundry basket full of aggressively beige clothing yesterday when my grandma called to ask why my youngest always looks like a Victorian orphan on my Instagram stories. I had to laugh, mostly to keep from...

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Messy baby eating puree from a reusable silicone food container in a car seat

The Great Puree Glitch: Debugging Dinnertime

The ceiling of my Subaru Crosstrek currently has a modern art installation made entirely of organic sweet potato and turkey puree. I was driving down Interstate 84. My 11-month-old son, Leo, was screaming in the back seat. The temperature was...

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A stylish diaper bag hanging on a stroller with a monkey keychain attached

The Truth About That Cute Baby Milo Keychain (And My Mom Guilt)

It was a random Tuesday in October, like, 2018 maybe? Maya was about seven months old, and we were sitting outside this aggressively hip coffee shop in Brooklyn—the kind where a basic iced oat milk latte costs seven dollars and...

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