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What I Learned After Googling an Anencephaly Baby Diagnosis
It was 2:14 AM on a random Tuesday, roughly week fourteen of my wife's pregnancy, and I was doing the exact thing every medical professional explicitly tells you not to do. I was sitting in the blue glow of my...
Is My Child an Alien Baby? A Troubleshooting Log for Past Me
Dear Marcus from exactly six months ago. You're currently standing over the bassinet in the pitch black, holding your phone flashlight cupped in your palm so Sarah doesn't wake up, watching a tiny chest stop rising for what feels like...
The 3AM Headlamp Operation: Surviving The Infant Nail Care Phase
I'm hovering over Maya's cot like a deeply unqualified jewel thief. It's 3:14 AM. I'm wearing a 400-lumen camping headlamp, holding my breath so hard my vision is blurring, and my hands are hovering over a sleeping toddler with a...
The Truth About Newborn Onesies (And How Many You Actually Need)
It’s 3:14 AM in November 2019. I'm standing in the glow of a nursery nightlight that's inexplicably shaped like a slice of pizza, holding a screaming, poop-covered three-week-old Maya. I'm wearing my husband's old college sweatpants which also, somehow, have...
Dear Past Priya: The Truth About Infant Car Seats
You're currently sitting on the garage floor in your maternity leggings. There's a half-eaten granola bar on the bumper of the Honda, the manual for the convertible seat is open to page forty-two, and you're quietly crying because the little...
Dear Me: What I Wish I Knew About That Happy Baby Organic Formula
You're currently sitting on the edge of the bathtub, the bathroom door locked so your husband doesn't hear you crying, with your phone screen brightness turned down to one percent while you frantically google what the heck you're supposed to...
I would like to see the baby and other newborn terrors
It's 3:18 AM in a freezing Chicago apartment. I'm holding a seven-pound alien that's currently shrieking like a defective smoke detector. My husband is dead asleep on the couch, entirely oblivious. I'm scrolling a forum with my free thumb and...
The Absurd Truth About Searching For Lil Baby Albums Online
"Play Mozart or he'll fail third-grade math," my mother-in-law practically whispered into my ear at my baby shower, aggressively shoving a CD into my hands. Yes, an actual, physical compact disc in a jewel case. Who even owns a CD...
What A Pediatric Nurse Wants You To Know About Your Baby's Soft Spot
I used to sit at the triage desk at a major pediatric hospital in Chicago and watch the first-time dads walk in. They always carried the car seat completely rigid, holding their breath like they were transporting weapons-grade plutonium. But...