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What To Do When "Baby Girl Shake That" Invades Your Nursery
I'm currently watching two identical twenty-four-month-olds attempt what I can only describe as a synchronized club routine in the middle of our kitchen. Twin A is dropping into a deeply concerning squat, while Twin B is executing a rhythmic shoulder...
Is the Job of a Brand Ambassador Actually Worth the Stress?
I'm currently wedged between our coffee table and a dangerously overloaded laundry basket, holding a smartphone at a 45-degree angle while making desperate clicking noises with my tongue. My 11-month-old son is supposed to be interacting thoughtfully with a visually...
What a Netflix Stalker Taught Me About Toddler Firewalls
The blue glow of the television is casting long shadows against the living room wall, and I'm completely frozen. It's 2:13 AM. My son is currently asleep on my chest, a thin line of drool connecting his cheek to my...
Why That Viral Baby Saja Trend Totally Freaked Me Out
It was 8:14 on a Tuesday morning and I was wearing Dave’s college sweatpants with a hardened crust of what I think was blueberry oatmeal on the knee, aggressively pressing the brew button on my coffee maker for the third...
What the Blueface Baby Tabloid Drama Actually Taught Me About Safety
My mom called me last week in an absolute panic saying I needed to delete my apps because parents were chucking their infants at walls, my neighbor Sarah cornered me at the mailbox to tell me belly button hernias mean...
Why I Threw Out the iPad: Real Talk on Baby Screen Time Limits
I was packing up three Etsy orders for custom birth announcement signs, trying to balance my phone on my knee, and completely failing to ignore my youngest baby screaming for his morning nap. I had this grand idea to find...
What the Travis Hunter Baby Reveal Taught Us About Privacy
The biggest lie modern parenthood sold us is the wooden letter board. You know the exact one I mean. It sits next to a two-hour-old infant, broadcasting their precise weight, length, birth hour, full legal name, and hospital location to...
Freaking Out About The Sugar Baby Movies In My Moms Group
So my sister-in-law is standing by the toddler swings yesterday, violently shaking her Yeti mug in the air, telling me I need to throw Maya’s iPad straight into the nearest river because she just watched that Sundance documentary. You know...
Pretty Baby: Brooke Shields and the Myth of Normal Parenting
I'm currently paused on a frame of a 1980s television talk show host asking an 11-year-old child an incredibly inappropriate question about her body. The harsh glow of the TV is illuminating the half-empty bottles on our coffee table, my...