The Uncanny Valley of the CGI Baby in Squid Game
There's a massive misconception floating around the parenting subreddits right now. People seem to think the horrifyingly fake infant in that Korean dystopian show was just a product of lazy budgeting. They assume some producer looked at an Excel sheet,...
The Boss Baby PNG Invite Crisis and Other Parenting Dad Bugs
2:14 AM. The cursor blinks at me mockingly. I'm staring at a layer mask in my photo editing software that's systematically failing its primary objective. The biggest myth they sell you in the hospital discharge paperwork isn't about infant sleep...
The Truth About Those Evo Baby Dragon Decks Everyone Is Playing
I was sitting on the living room rug yesterday, knee-deep in a mountain of mismatched toddler socks, when I got three completely different pieces of advice about the exact same problem. My mom called and told me boys just naturally...
Why a Roblox Baby Search Terrified Me Out of Digital Parenting
It was 2:14 AM on a Tuesday, and my 11-month-old daughter was systematically attempting to pry the escape key off my mechanical keyboard while I desperately searched for a digital distraction. I just needed ten minutes of peace to drink...
Why we are all lying about the dreaded tablet toddler phase
Listen, we're sitting at a loud brunch spot off the Blue Line, and my son decides the texture of his waffle is deeply offensive. He throws it on the floor. He starts winding up for that specific, ear-piercing shriek that...
The baby doll movie voice search disaster on a rainy Tuesday
It was exactly 6:14 AM, the rain was coming down in that relentless, gray Portland way, and I was holding a bottle of formula I had meticulously calibrated to precisely 98.6 degrees. My daughter, currently known in my mental database...
Why Your Innocent TV Search Could Show Your Toddler an R-Rated Movie
It was 3:17 AM on a Tuesday, and I was quite literally running on a half-eaten sleeve of stale saltines and the sheer desperate hope that my eight-month-old would just close her eyes. She had been screaming since midnight, teething...
Dear Past Priya: The Truth About Baby Looney Tunes
Dear Priya from last November. You're currently sitting on the floor of the nursery in our Logan Square apartment at three in the morning. The radiator is making that terrifying clanking noise again. The baby has a mild fever from...
Why The Sudden Obsession With Baby Rosalina Threw Me For A Loop
It was exactly 4:12 PM on a rainy Thursday, and I was wearing my husband Dave's oversized college sweatshirt which smells faintly of old garlic and desperation, staring completely dead-eyed at our living room TV. Maya, my seven-year-old, was sobbing...