The Truth About Creating a Baby Map: Inside the Womb and Out
Listen, thirty-four weeks pregnant, I was sitting on my Chicago apartment's bathroom tiles at two in the morning with a purple washable marker, poking my own abdomen. The snow was coming down hard outside, and my late-night search history was...
Finding A Baby Shower Dress That Actually Fits (Without The Tears)
Dear Sarah from six months ago—wait, no. Maya is four now. So, dear Sarah from four years and six months ago. Whatever. Time is a completely meaningless construct anyway when you haven't had a full night of uninterrupted sleep since...
The Only Honest Guide to Venues for Baby Shower Celebrations
I'm currently sitting on the floor of my Etsy inventory room, aggressively tearing off pieces of packing tape for a massive stack of custom nursery signs, while my youngest child uses my left ankle as a teething ring. My phone...
My Sunny Side Up Baby Gave Me the Back Labor From Absolute Hell
It was 3:14 AM on the linoleum floor of Room 4 at Mt. Sinai, and I was wearing my husband Mark’s faded 2012 indie band tour t-shirt because nothing else fit my massive, 40-weeks-pregnant body. I was clutching the hospital...
Late-Night Google Spirals: The Truth on Baby Hiccups in Womb
You're lying on your left side in the dark. It's roughly three in the morning, and your abdomen is executing a very specific, rhythmic jerk every four seconds. It feels less like the miraculous flutter of new life and more...
Acoustics of the Womb and My Metal Baking Sheet Drop Disaster
The noise sounded like a Ford Taurus crashing into a cymbal factory. It was just me dropping six aluminum baking sheets onto the kitchen tile, but in our quiet Portland apartment, the acoustic shockwave was violently loud. Our dog scrambled...
Surviving the "Babys at 30 Weeks" Search Spiral (And The Heartburn)
I found Sarah sitting on the cold kitchen tiles at 3:14 AM, illuminated entirely by the blue glare of her phone screen and eating dry Cheerios straight from the cardboard box. She looked up at me, eyes hollow with exhaustion,...