The Moldy Bath Toy and My Black Killer Whale Baby Obsession
It was 4:12 AM, and I was standing on the freezing, fake-marble tile of our upstairs bathroom wearing Dave's college sweatpants—the ones with the literal hole in the crotch that I refuse to throw away because the waistband is basically...
Dear pregnant Priya: What the jj mccarthy baby news taught me
I'm writing this to you from the floor of the nursery at three in the morning while the breast pump makes a sound like a dying asthmatic robot. You're six months pregnant right now, probably sitting on the couch with...
Buying Lil Baby Tickets: The Great Airplane Lap Infant Lie
The seatbelt sign dings with that specific, mocking chime. I'm currently wedged into row 14B of an easyJet flight to Geneva, sweating through my jumper. Twin A is arching her back with the rigid intensity of a feral cat dodging...
Why the Baby's Day Movie Gives Me Major Panic Attacks Now
I was elbow-deep in a basket of aggressively stained toddler socks yesterday afternoon, desperately trying to find a single matching pair, when my husband walked into the living room and slapped a DVD on the coffee table. He’d found it...
The Day I Realized Baby's Breath Was Actually Ruining My Nursery
I was thirty-eight weeks pregnant, sweating completely through a maternity tank top in late August, staring at a giant wire hoop covered in dried white flowers that my mother had just proudly hung directly over the crib. It was supposed...
Dear past Tom: Skip the polyester baby yoda costume
Dear Tom of six months ago, You're currently sitting on the sofa with a lukewarm cup of tea, looking at an online checkout cart. It's late September. You're feeling a misguided sense of autumnal whimsy, bolstered perhaps by the fact...
The Honest Truth About Nike Baby Clothes and Sizing
When I was pregnant with my first, I got sat down at my own baby shower and given three entirely different lectures on how to dress a newborn. My mom, bless her heart, insisted babies only need those white cotton...
Hiring A Baby Sleep Consultant Saved My Sanity (And Marriage)
It was 3:14 AM on a Tuesday. I was wearing Dave’s stained college sweatpants, nursing my four-month-old son Leo for the seventh time that night, and staring at the glowing screen of my phone through eyes that felt like they...
Why the Baby Shamili Medical Story Sent Me Down a 3 AM Spiral
It was 2:14 AM and I was wearing my husband Mark’s tragically oversized college track t-shirt that smells vaguely of stale salsa, staring at my phone in the dark while Maya, then four months old, used my left shoulder as...