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Exhausted dad Marcus sitting in a car next to a rear-facing baby car seat

Why the Baby Driver Actor Made Me Rethink Infant Safety

Dear Marcus from six months ago. I know exactly what you're doing right now. It's 3 AM in our Portland living room. You've logged exactly 3.4 hours of heavily fragmented sleep, and you're currently acting as a human mattress for...

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Exhausted dad staring at his smartwatch while holding a crying baby

Surviving the Unexplainable Evening Crying Phase

My Apple Watch tapped my wrist at exactly 5:14 PM to let me know the ambient noise level in my living room had reached 95 decibels, a volume it cheerfully warned could cause temporary hearing loss. I didn't need the...

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Tired mother looking at her phone in a dark nursery

Dear Priya from six months ago about the baby doge trap

Listen. I know exactly where you're right now. You're sitting on the rug in the nursery at three in the morning with a squirming toddler who refuses to sleep, scrolling TikTok with your screen brightness turned all the way down....

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A tired mom folding a massive pile of tiny cotton sleep and plays.

The Brutal Truth About Carters Baby Sizing and Nighttime Snaps

I'm currently sitting on the floor of my living room, completely barricaded by a mountain of pastel cotton, trying to match an impossibly tiny floral pant to a top that has somehow vanished into the ether. It’s mostly hand-me-downs from...

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Tired mother holding a teething baby in the dark near a glowing screen

What To Do When The Baby Zombie Phase Actually Ruins Your Sleep

Listen. It was a quarter past three on a Tuesday when I realized my apartment was under a coordinated siege by two entirely different types of the undead. My husband and my older kid were huddled over an iPad in...

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Tired mom sitting on pantry floor looking at phone in the dark

How The Britney Spears Adopt A Baby Rumor Broke My Brain At 3 AM

Listen y'all, it was exactly 3:14 AM. I know this because I was sitting on the cold linoleum floor of my walk-in pantry, eating a slightly stale handful of mini marshmallows out of a plastic bag, staring at the clock...

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Dad adjusting a dim amber nursery light while holding a sleeping baby

Why we finally threw out our fancy baby lights (and what worked)

It's 2:43 AM. I'm holding my iPhone between my teeth like a tactical flashlight because I need both hands to manage a diaper blowout of catastrophic proportions. I take one step backward, my heel finds a rogue wooden block, and...

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Exhausted dad sitting in a dark nursery holding a baby monitor and looking confused

The Gone Baby Gone Cast Has Nothing on My 3 AM Detective Work

My mother swore he was just hungry, my hipster neighbor confidently diagnosed a "leap 6 sleep regression," and a random guy in my Portland coffee shop told me he was definitely sensing my own unresolved childhood trauma. Three totally different...

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A tired dad sitting in a dark nursery holding a baby and looking at his phone

My Baby Girl Chinese Drama: A 3 AM Survival Guide for Tired Parents

The digital clock on the wipe-warmer we never use is flashing 3:14 AM in a vaguely aggressive neon green. I'm wedged in the nursing chair, which has somehow lost all lumbar support over the last two years. Matilda, twin A,...

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