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Put the dull paring knife down, honey. Just lay it gently on the cutting board and step away from the counter before you end up in the rural Texas ER explaining to a very tired nurse how a vegetable completely...

I was standing barefoot on the freezing kitchen tile at three in the morning, wearing these horrific mesh hospital underwear and a nursing bra that smelled entirely like sour milk and sheer desperation. It was November, so the house was...