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Who is Actually in Charge Here? Surviving the Boss Baby Phase
It was 3:14 in the morning, and I was wearing a maternity nursing tank that I definitely hadn't washed since Tuesday, staring at the glow of an iPad playing that DreamWorks movie for the hundredth time. My husband, Dave, had...
Why I Finally Stopped Fighting the Whole Pastel Baby Pink Phase
It was late October 2017, and I was standing in the middle of Target wearing a heather-gray maternity sweater that smelled faintly of the iced Americano I had spilled down my front three hours earlier. I was thirty-eight weeks pregnant...
The Desperate Midnight Baby Boo Dance That Saved My Sanity
The linoleum of my kitchen floor is particularly hostile at 3:42 AM, a fact I was contemplating while aggressively swaying left-to-right with a screaming twin strapped to my chest. My shirt was damp with something I desperately hoped was only...
Dear Past Me: Surviving a Baby Bed Bug Nursery Infestation
Dear Past Jess, It's 3:14 AM. You're standing in the middle of the nursery in your mismatched pajamas, holding your phone flashlight exactly two inches from the crib mattress, trying your absolute hardest not to wake the baby or hyperventilate....
Raising an AI baby: The 3 AM reality of smart nursery tech
I'm sitting on the edge of the nursery glider at 3:14 AM, toggling between an oxygen saturation graph and an algorithmic sleep predictor while my actual, physical child is currently gnawing on his crib rail. My phone screen is glowing...
Surviving the first weeks with your new baby without losing it
I was sitting in the passenger seat of our Honda CR-V on top of a literal ice pack, staring at the mirror angled toward the car seat in the back. My husband was driving ten miles under the speed limit...
Am I Losing My Mind or Are These Signs of Teething in Babies?
"Oh, itβs just a tooth coming in," the barista at my local Starbucks told me yesterday, casually sliding my fourth Americano across the counter while my seven-month-old, Maya, gnawed violently on my collarbone. I was wearing a terribly stained pair...
Why a kyte baby discount code almost broke my sanity at 3am
Itβs 3:14 AM, the absolute worst possible time for rational decision-making, and I'm illuminated entirely by the harsh, judgmental blue glow of my phone screen. Maya is currently passed out on my chest, drooling a thick puddle of what I...
The 3 AM Survival Guide Inspired By Justin Bieber Baby Lyrics
It's 3:14 AM and I'm staring at the frozen slush on the Chicago streets below our apartment window, shifting my weight from my left hip to my right hip in a hypnotic, desperate rhythm. My daughter is screaming with the...