When Your Infant Becomes a Baby Rhino: A Hip Dysplasia Guide
I'm currently sitting on my living room rug surrounded by a mountain of expensive zippered cotton, trying to figure out how to shove a piece of rigid medical plastic inside a sleep sack without waking a sleeping infant or snapping...
System Failure at 3 AM: HM Baby Clothes and Newborn Survival
The poop had somehow achieved terminal velocity. It was 3:14 AM on a Tuesday, and my two-week-old daughter was lying on her changing pad, screaming with the piercing intensity of a malfunctioning smoke detector. The payload had defied all known...
Daniel Caesar's Baby Blue Is My Secret 3 AM Infant Sleep Hack
Itβs 3:17 AM, and Iβm locked in a staring contest with the glowing red ring of my smart speaker, mentally calculating the exact amount of force required to smash it into a thousand pieces. The hyper-chipper, mechanically synthesized xylophone beat...
Why Your Strampler Baby Needs Far Less Clothes Than You Think
I remember distinctly sitting on my living room rug about four years ago, trying to wrestle my oldest sonβs chubby little newborn thigh into a pair of raw denim baby jeans. He was screaming like I was torturing him, my...
Surviving The Sleep Sack Baby Phase Without Losing Your Mind
It was 3:14 AM on a Tuesday, or maybe Wednesday, because time doesn't actually exist when you've a newborn. I was wearing a faded sorority t-shirt from 2008 that had a mysterious, crusty spit-up stain on the shoulder, and I...
When Do Babies Start Sleeping Through The Night? A Dad's Guide
It's 3:14 am on a Tuesday, and I'm currently having a heated internal debate about whether the shadow in the corner of the nursery is a pile of laundry or the ghost of my pre-parenting freedom. Twin A (the loud...
Surviving Our Real Boss Baby and Who Actually Voices The Movie
My mom told me that if I didn't establish dominance on day one, the baby would rule our house forever. The barista down the street confidently informed me that I need to surrender to his flow and let the infant...
The truth about raising a dutch baby (and eating one)
I'm currently scraping dried egg batter off my kitchen cabinet at seven in the morning while my toddler aggressively signs for more bananas. This is the exact opposite of the tranquil, well-rested maternal ideal I had pictured when I started...
Surviving The 3 AM Meltdown Over A Missing Blanket With Foxes
I'm currently on all fours under the sofa, using my phone's torch to illuminate a terrifying graveyard of crushed Wotsits, a rogue piece of Lego, and a dummy that has been missing since last Tuesday. It's 3:14 in the morning....