That Christmas Baby Please Come Home Year (Letter To Past Me)
Dear Sarah of exactly six months ago, You're currently sitting in the driver's seat of our crusty Honda Pilot, parked outside a CVS in what can only be described as a disrespectful amount of snow, aggressively crying into a lukewarm...
Parenting In The Digital Age And The Terrifying Teen Timeline
My mom told me over FaceTime yesterday that the foolproof solution to internet safety is to simply hand my daughter a flip phone when she turns sixteen and strictly refuse to acknowledge the existence of wifi until she graduates college....
Devon Hodge Brenda's Got a Baby: The True Story
Whatever you do, absolutely don't pull out your phone at 2:13 AM while your four-year-oldβs foot is pressed directly against your windpipe and search for true stories behind 90s rap songs. Because you'll, like me, end up sobbing into a...
The Truth About Those Evo Baby Dragon Decks Everyone Is Playing
I was sitting on the living room rug yesterday, knee-deep in a mountain of mismatched toddler socks, when I got three completely different pieces of advice about the exact same problem. My mom called and told me boys just naturally...
Raising the 'Baby Rich' Without Making Them Insufferable
I was staring at a three-thousand-dollar acrylic crib on my phone at 4 a.m. while covered in sour milk, waiting for my maternity leave pay to clear. That was the exact moment I realized my entire concept of being baby...
The Terrifying Truth About Innocent Kids' Searches
I was sitting on the floor of my laundry room yesterday, using a baby wipe to scrape dried oatmeal off my five-year-oldβs hand-me-down tablet. I turned it on just to check the battery, swiped over to the browser he uses...
Put That Tupperware Down: The Reality Of Backyard Reptiles
My four-year-old marched into the kitchen yesterday looking like he had just won the lottery. His hands were cupped so tightly together his knuckles were white, and he had that wild, unblinking stare kids get when they're holding something they...
What the Patrick Mahomes Baby Taught Me About Surviving Three
Dear Jess from six months ago. You're currently sitting on the floor of our laundry room, crying over a mountain of unmatched tiny socks while your two toddlers use your Etsy shipping boxes as a literal wrestling ring in the...
Why I'm Raising My Panda Baby Without the Helicopter Hover
I'm currently watching my two-year-old drag a heavy oak dining chair all the way across the linoleum, wedge it violently against the kitchen island, and attempt to scale it like he's summiting Everest for a rogue Goldfish cracker that has...