Why I Finally Stopped Feeding My Kids Apple-Flavored Everything
I was standing in my kitchen at like 3 PM on a Tuesday, wearing the exact same black maternity leggings I had technically slept in, holding a plastic spoon covered in this neon orange sweet potato puree that somehow smelled...
The Absolute Real Truth About Having a Sugar Baby 2024 Edition
I was literally standing in the middle of the Target baby aisle on a Tuesday at 9 AM, wearing yesterday's yoga pants that definitely had dried oatmeal on the knee, holding a pouch of pureed pear and spinach, when my...
My Messy, Caffeinated Guide to Decoding Infant Nutrition
It was November 2017 and I was wearing my husband Markβs oversized college sweatpantsβthe ones with the bleach stain on the left thigh that he refuses to throw awayβsitting completely paralyzed on our cold kitchen linoleum at 3:15 AM while...
Raising Butcher Babies: The No-Nonsense Guide to Real Meat
There was a solid smear of greyish-brown turkey paste on my kitchen ceiling, and I was sitting on the floor crying next to a half-empty jar of baby food that smelled exactly like the wet food I buy for the...
My Sister Had a Baby Shrimp: The Truth About Shellfish & Babies
When my toddler started solids, my mother-in-law confidently informed me that giving fish to an infant would permanently imbalance their internal body temperature. My neighbor warned me that even touching a raw prawn in my own kitchen would trigger anaphylaxis...
Why Barbecue Sauce is a Toddler Nightmare (And What to Do Instead)
It's 2:00 PM on the Fourth of July, it's ninety-eight degrees in the shade, and I'm sweating through a grey maternity tank top that I should have thrown away three years ago. Leo is fourteen months old and his face...
When Can Babies Have Juice: The 3 AM Apple Juice Disaster
It was 2:14 AM on a random Tuesday, and I was sitting cross-legged on the cold linoleum of my kitchen floor staring blindly at the humming refrigerator. I was wearing a maternity tank top that I'm pretty sure had three-day-old...
My Very Messy Experience With MegaFood Supplements For Mom And Baby
It was a random Tuesday in November, roughly 7:14 AM, and I was standing in my horribly lit downstairs guest bathroom wearing exactly one sock and a wildly oversized promotional t-shirt with a mustard stain on the hem. I was...
A father's guide to a little baby's ice cream introduction
Dear Marcus from six months ago. It's me, future Marcus. You're currently sitting on the porch of our Portland rental, it's 95 degrees in August, and you're holding a dripping scoop of Salt & Straw honey lavender. The five-month-old is...