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12-month-old6-month-oldbabywearinggearinfant healthmotherhood
A tired mom holding a heavy toddler on a waist seat carrier at a hot outdoor festival.

When My Back Gave Out: The Ugly Truth About a Baby Hip Carrier

We were twenty minutes into the Parker County Peach Festival when I felt something in my lower spine actually shift. It was 98 degrees in the shade, the air felt like a wet wool blanket, and my sixteen-month-old son, Beau,...

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11-month-oldbaby registrygearorganic baby clothesparenting humor
Clueless dad looking at baby registry app on smartphone while baby plays with box.

Buy Buy Baby Registry: What I Wish I Knew Before Building v1.0

I'm currently sitting on my living room floor, surrounded by a mountain of collapsed cardboard, trying to figure out how to process a return for a piece of modular stroller suspension that I clearly ordered in a sleep-deprived fugue state....

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11-month-oldbudgeteco-friendlygearparenting humor
Frustrated dad holding a questionable secondhand stroller in the rain.

The Stressed Dad Rules for Used Baby Gear and Sleep Loss

Standing in a stranger’s soggy driveway in southeast Portland at 9:15 PM, rain soaking through my fleece, trying to fold a secondhand stroller that smelled faintly of old milk and despair. This was my absolute breaking point. My wife, Sarah,...

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baby teethersgearinfant safetylondon dadparenting humorpop culture
A confused dad looking at his phone while holding a silicone baby teether

Why Googling Playboi Carti's Baby Boi at 3 AM is a Parenting Mistake

There I was, balancing a dangerously lukewarm oat flat white on my knee at the Greenwich park swings, trying to pretend I still possessed a shred of cultural relevance. The dad pushing his toddler next to meβ€”a bloke wearing immaculate...

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6-month-oldbaby shower giftsgearoutdoorparenting humor
Close up of a stroller wheel on a muddy Portland sidewalk

Letter To Myself About The Baby Jogger City Mini GT2

Dear Marcus from six months ago. You're currently standing in the middle of a baby store aisle, sweating in your gray hoodie, trying to mentally compute tire diameters while staring at a wall of black canvas. You look ridiculous. Just...

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baby healthbreastfeedinggearnew bornpostpartum
A tiny black portable breast pump sitting next to a half-empty cup of cold coffee

The 3AM Pumping Crisis and the Tiny Machine That Saved Us

The kitchen tiles in our London flat are roughly the temperature of a mortuary slab at 2:14 in the morning. I know this because I was lying face down on them last Tuesday, desperately searching for a microscopic silicone membrane...

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baby registrybaby showergearmillennialorganicparenting humor
Confused dad looking at a smartphone while holding a tiny baby sock.

Dear Past Marcus: Please Stop Overcomplicating the Baby Registry

You're currently sweating through your vintage Timbers hoodie, keeping nineteen browser tabs open, hovering your cursor over an "Add to Cart" button for a Bluetooth-enabled diaper pail. I need you to step away from the keyboard. It's me. Future Marcus....

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12-month-oldBabygearoutdoorsafety tipssummer baby
Mom riding a bicycle with a toddler in a rear-mounted seat on a rural dirt road

What I Wish I Knew Before Buying a Bike Seat for My Baby

Dear Jess from six months ago, You're currently sitting on the concrete floor of the garage, sweating through your favorite oversized t-shirt in this humid Texas heat, trying to decipher an instruction manual that appears to be written entirely in...

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babywearingbudgetgearmillennialparenting humor
A tired father holding his baby in a designer baby carrier outdoors

A Letter To Myself Before Buying That Artipoppe Baby Carrier

Dear Tom of six months ago. You're currently hiding in the downstairs loo, aren't you? The twins are simultaneously screaming in the living room, there's a distinct smell of sour milk on your favourite jumper, and you're staring at your...

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