My In-Laws, A Drop-Side Crib, And The Great Grandparent Divide
It was 10:14 AM on a Tuesday, I was wearing a nursing tank that smelled strongly of sour milk and desperation, and my mother-in-law had just proudly wheeled a vintage, splintering drop-side crib into my living room. I'm pretty sure...
Decoding The Baby Boo Meaning Youngboy TikTok Trend For Dads
Dear Marcus of six months ago. You're currently sitting on the mid-century modern living room rug you definitely couldn't afford, obsessively logging the baby's exact milk intake into an app (4.2 ounces, up from 3.8 yesterday). The Portland rain is...
The 2 AM Baby Benadryl Panic and What I Actually Did Instead
It's 2:14 AM on a Tuesday in February. The wind off Lake Michigan is rattling the windowpanes of our Chicago apartment, and my toddler is sitting on the bathroom counter looking like a lightly boiled lobster. We had tried a...
Dear Past Me: Surviving The Literal Baby Bat And Bath Time Chaos
Dear Sarah from six months ago, It's exactly 7:14 PM on a Tuesday and you're currently kneeling on the damp bathroom tiles in an oversized, bleach-stained Nirvana t-shirt that you haven't washed in a week. You're dripping with lukewarm water...
Why the Baby Alien Fan Bus Search Trap Ruined My Tuesday Morning
The iPad was smeared with a mixture of dribble and what I desperately hope was Marmite, sitting dangerously close to the edge of the kitchen island. It was 6:15 on a Tuesday morning, it was raining in that aggressively persistent...
My Kids, The Ice Age Baby Meme, and Freezing Winter Survival
Let me tell you about the exact moment I realized I was officially old and entirely unprepared for both internet culture and actual, literal winter. It was like, negative three degrees outside on a Tuesday in January, I was wearing...
How to Pick a Girl Baby Name When Everyone Has an Opinion
I was thirty-two weeks pregnant with my second, sweating through my maternity leggings at a baby shower I didn't even want to have, staring at a plate of lukewarm spinach dip while three different women cornered me about names. My...
The 2 AM Wi-Fi Outage That Taught Me How to Pick the Best Baby Monitor
Lightning struck somewhere past our back pasture, the thunder rattled the bedroom windows, and the little green light on my nightstand router immediately turned a sinister, blinking red. It was 2:14 AM. I snatched up my phone, but instead of...
Why a 5-Yard Baby Wrap Saved My Sanity (and My Etsy Shop)
I was standing in the middle of my living room, openly weeping, completely tangled in what felt like a parachute. My oldest, Wyatt—who's now five and still the reason I've a twitch in my left eye—was six weeks old and...