Dear Past Me: Please Put Down That Baby Percentile Calculator
Dear Jess from six months ago, You're currently sitting on the faded living room rug with a floppy yellow sewing tape measure in one hand and your phone in the other, furiously typing slightly inaccurate measurements into a baby percentile...
The Theater Beta Test: Bringing an 11-Month-Old to the Movies
I was standing under the dripping marquee of the Hollywood Theatre here in Portland, staring at the decibel meter app on my Apple Watch while my 11-month-old daughter Maya actively tried to chew off the zipper of my rain jacket....
The Only Real Baby Feeding Chart You Will Actually Ever Need
I was standing in the kitchen at 3:14 AM wearing a milk-stained nursing bra and one mismatched sock, sobbing over a laminated spreadsheet taped to my freezer door. My oldest was screaming in his bassinet down the hall, and I...
The 2 AM Baby Chicken Meltdown: Purees, Poultry, and My Sanity
There I was at 2:13 AM on a Tuesday, standing barefoot in my kitchen wearing a stained t-shirt, staring down at a shattered glass Tupperware container of pureed baby chicken that I had just spent two hours boiling and blending....
The Baby Bottle Pop Hack That Actually Works (And What Fails)
Dear Sarah from six months ago, You're currently sitting on the cold kitchen tiles at 2:14 AM wearing that grey Def Leppard t-shirt—the one with the hole in the left armpit that smells vaguely like old French roast and pure...
Why The Simone Biles Baby Rumors Make Me Rethink Family Boundaries
My mother-in-law was hovering a forkful of heavily buttered mashed potatoes in mid-air when she casually asked if we had started trying for "the sequel" yet, which is a genuinely wild thing to ask someone who hasn't slept for a...
The Absolute Messy Truth About Finding Unique Baby Names in 2024
I was thirty-two weeks pregnant, sitting at the nurse station at Northwestern Memorial, staring blankly at a patient chart. The poor kid had a name with five consecutive consonants and a silent q. My shift was ending, my ankles looked...
The Brutally Honest Truth About Buying an UPPAbaby Stroller
My husband was holding an iced coffee that was dripping condensation all over a display of breast pumps, staring at the price tag like it had just insulted his ancestors. We were standing in the middle of Buy Buy Baby—RIP...
When Do Babies Say Their First Word? My Honest Mom Truth
I was sitting cross-legged on our living room rug, shoving a laminated flashcard of an apple into my oldest son’s face while he actively tried to eat the corner of it. He was thirteen months old. The girl down the...