The Truth About Air Fryer Baby Potatoes (Before and After Kids)
"Mummy, hot!" screams Twin A, pointing an accusatory sticky finger at the sleek black monstrosity occupying half our kitchen worktop. It's 5:14 PM. The witching hour. My wife is not home from work yet, I'm wearing a t-shirt that smells...
When Do Babies Finally Start Holding Their Own Bottles?
Dear Tom of eighteen months ago. You're currently sitting on the IKEA armchair that smells faintly of sour milk and big defeat, a twin wedged in the crook of each arm. You're trying to balance two plastic bottles using your...
Instant Pot Baby Back Ribs: A Warning To My Panicked Past Self
Dear Tom of six months ago. You're currently standing in the meat aisle of the Tesco on Cromwell Road, holding a massive, bloody slab of pork while one of your twin daughters screams because she dropped a slightly damp rice...
Surviving The Baby Kitty Phase When Your Kid Decides To Meow
Sarah’s Honda hadn't even cleared the driveway before the transformation occurred. I was standing in the kitchen, tracking the ambient room temperature on the thermostat (a solid 68 degrees), when I heard a sound that I can only describe as...
The Halle Bailey Baby Guide to Setting Firm Internet Boundaries
I was standing near the NHS hospital vending machine, running entirely on stale Wotsits and pure adrenaline, when I made my first catastrophic parenting error. Instead of texting my mum a deeply unflattering, slightly terrifying photo of my newborn twins...
Exactly when do you feel baby kick: A very unscientific timeline
If you read the glowing, sepia-toned maternity forums, you’d think the very first time you feel a tiny foot move is a transcendent, magical event accompanied by a soaring acoustic guitar soundtrack. This is a spectacular lie. My wife was...
Who Determines the Sex of the Baby? The Honest Truth
Pushing a broom across a gravel driveway in mid-July is a fool's errand, but there I was, six months pregnant, trying to sweep up damp pink confetti from a gender reveal cannon that had just backfired all over my husband's...
My Entirely Accidental Education on the Yamaha Baby Grand Piano
I was literally on my hands and knees on the living room rug, wearing those gray Lululemons with the hole in the left knee that my husband Dave absolutely hates, holding a bright yellow Stanley tape measure while my third...
The Unfiltered Truth About Baby Bonnets and the Infant Bald Spot
My mother-in-law took one look at the back of my daughter’s head, gasped dramatically, and told me we needed to order a silk baby bonnet immediately to save her hair. Ten minutes later, my sister texted me a link to...