Justin Bieber’s Go Baby Lyrics Secretly Nailed Postpartum Life
There's this massive, steaming lie we all just collectively buy into with pop culture and parenthood. We assume that pop stars writing songs about devotion and holding someone through the night are just penning romantic fluff from inside an air-conditioned...
Dear Past Me: How to Survive the Whiny Baby Phase Without Losing It
You're currently standing in the kitchen staring into the glow of the open refrigerator at 3:14 AM, listening to the relentless, high-pitched vocalizations coming from the nursery monitor. You're holding a cold bottle of formula in one hand and your...
Surviving The 3 AM Teething Boot Loop & Babies Clothes Fails
The digital thermometer read 99.1°F at exactly 3:14 AM on a Tuesday, and my daughter was methodically attempting to gnaw through the wooden rail of her crib like a beaver possessed. Outside, the Portland rain was doing its usual endless...
How to Survive the Feral Baby Hyena Phase of Human Toddlerhood
It happened at exactly 3:14 on a Tuesday morning. I was attempting the treacherous transfer from shoulder to cot—a maneuver that requires the stealth of a ninja and the steady hands of a bomb disposal expert—when Florence woke up. She...
The Honest Truth About Finding A Safe Newborn Teething Ring
When my oldest started gnawing his own fists off at four months, the unsolicited advice came flying at me faster than I could dodge it. My mom told me to just rub a little whiskey on his gums, my sweet...
The Truth About That Devil May Cry Baby Search You Did Last Night
Dear Jess from six months ago, I see you. You're standing at the kitchen island, up to your elbows in mashed sweet potatoes, trying to finish two custom embroidery orders for the Etsy shop before the post office in town...
Dad-Tested Home Remedies for a Teething Baby Waking Up at Night
It's 3:14 AM and I'm standing in the kitchen holding a partially frozen blueberry mini bagel. The baby monitor on the counter looks like a jagged red soundwave of pure agony. The bagel is currently defrosting and dripping a sticky...
The exact number of tiny teeth to expect (and how to survive them)
There I was, standing in our London kitchen at four in the morning with a screaming toddler on each hip, trying to sort through three entirely contradictory pieces of advice I’d received that week. My mother-in-law had cheerfully suggested rubbing...
My Pediatric Triage Guide To Cheer Up Baby Without Going Crazy
My mother swore rubbing warm ghee on his feet would stop the screaming. The lactation consultant told me he was definitely cluster feeding and I just needed to nurse him for the fourteenth time that hour. Then my neighbor caught...