Surviving the Unexplainable Evening Crying Phase
My Apple Watch tapped my wrist at exactly 5:14 PM to let me know the ambient noise level in my living room had reached 95 decibels, a volume it cheerfully warned could cause temporary hearing loss. I didn't need the...
What the cardi b and stefon diggs baby teaches us about survival
I was standing in my dark kitchen at three in the morning, eating a cold samosa over the sink, when the photos dropped on my feed. The perfectly lit hospital bed, the flawless makeup, the custom football-themed swaddle wrapped around...
Can Babies Get High From Breastfeeding? The Brutally Honest Truth
It was 3:14 AM. I was sitting in our creaky nursery glider wearing a pair of my husband Dave's gym shorts that smelled faintly of old protein powder, nursing a four-month-old Leo who was aggressively pinching my left boob. My...
That Christmas Baby Please Come Home Year (Letter To Past Me)
Dear Sarah of exactly six months ago, You're currently sitting in the driver's seat of our crusty Honda Pilot, parked outside a CVS in what can only be described as a disrespectful amount of snow, aggressively crying into a lukewarm...
Dear Past Tom: A Warning About The Dijon Mustard Situation
Dear Past Tom, You're probably reading this while standing in the maternity ward bathroom, staring at a tiny, screaming human you met roughly four hours ago. You're holding a nappy under the harsh fluorescent light, and you're sweating. You've just...
The Real Rules of the Bouncy Seat (And Why They Can't Sleep In It)
I was standing in my tiny, mildew-speckled master bathroom shower at exactly 6:14 AM on a Tuesday, wearing nothing but a layer of dried overnight spit-up and deep, bone-deep exhaustion, staring through the water-spotted glass at my three-month-old son, Leo....
The absurdly high stakes of keeping your bassinet baby alive
Before we even brought the twins home from the hospital, three different people gave me three mutually exclusive pieces of advice about where they should sleep. My mother-in-law insisted I needed to line their little bedside cribs with rolled-up cashmere...
New Baby What You Wishing For? The Brutal Truth About The First Year
I'm standing in my tiny, unventilated bathroom at 3:14 AM on a Tuesday in November, wearing a pair of mesh hospital underwear that I've somehow managed to launder and reuse because I refuse to let them go, holding my firstborn,...
Stop Crying Over Baby Weight: A Letter to My Sleep-Deprived Self
Dear Jess from six months ago, I see you. You're standing barefoot in the master bathroom at 3 AM. You're completely naked, holding a screaming, naked infant. You step on the cold digital scale, squinting in the dark to read...