Magazine

A dad looking exhausted while holding two newborn twins in blankets

The gloriously absurd reality of making a test tube baby in your 30s

"So," my Great-Aunt Maureen leaned in over a plate of increasingly stale buffet sandwiches at a family wedding, her voice dropping to a conspiratorial whisper. "Are they test tube babies?" I looked down at my twin girls, who were currently...

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A frustrated dad holding a tiny polyester pumpkin outfit in a dimly lit hallway.

Surviving the polyester nightmare of baby halloween costumes

It was 5:42 PM on a Tuesday in late October, and I was standing in the drizzling rain behind a Vauxhall Astra, trying to forcefully snap the gusset of a synthetic velvet pumpkin over my screaming two-year-old’s nappy. Her twin...

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A wooden baby gym sitting in a modern, slightly messy living room

The Great "Baby G" Trap: Gear, Gyms, and Surviving the Plastic

It was precisely 3:14 AM when my left heel made contact with something that loudly announced, in a synthesized, aggressively cheerful accent, "I'm a happy purple turtle!" This was the exact moment I realized my living room had been entirely...

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Exhausted dad trying to measure a squirming toddler on a wooden floor

The Great Lil Baby Height Panic: A Dad's Late Night Mistakes

The metal tape measure snapped back with the terrifying velocity of a striking cobra, narrowly missing my left eye and causing Twin B to shriek with such piercing intensity that the neighbour's dog immediately began howling in sympathy. It was...

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A slightly burnt roasted baby carrot sitting on a messy highchair tray covered in orange smudges.

A Safe, Messy Roasted Baby Carrots Recipe for Weaning

I'm currently staring at a smear of pureed orange sludge slowly sliding down my left kitchen cabinet, wondering at what point in my life I became a person who actively scrubs root vegetables off the walls. It's 5:30 PM on...

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A heavily pregnant woman attempting a yoga inversion on a sofa.

Gravity, sofas, and the dizzying truth about spinning babies

"Don't try to pull me by the shoulders, Tom, you'll misalign my pelvis," Sarah hissed. She was currently suspended upside down with her knees on our mustard yellow sofa and her forearms flat on the living room rug, her face...

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