The Cetaphil Baby Wash Delusion: Why Slippery Twins Require A Reali...
I'm currently holding onto a wet, furious 11-kilo toddler with my left forearm while my right hand desperately attempts to extract lather from a plastic bottle before her sister successfully drinks a pint of lukewarm, slightly soapy bathwater. If you've...
Surviving the High-Stakes Math of Your Baby's Bath Temp
I'm currently bent double over a plastic tub that looks suspiciously like an oversized Tupperware container, plunging my left elbow into lukewarm water while Twin A tries to ingest a highly questionable bath sponge. It's precisely 6:14 PM, a time...
The lie of the pristine soap baby and other bath time truths
Dear Priya of six months ago. You're currently sitting on the cold bathroom tiles at two in the morning. You're holding a screaming, slippery infant who smells aggressively of artificial lavender. He is covered in suds, you're soaked in lukewarm...
Debugging the Swamp: Finding Safe Baby Bath Toys That Don't Mold
Before our son was born, I asked three different people what we needed for the nightly bath routine, which resulted in three entirely conflicting data points. My mother-in-law excitedly handed me a vintage, hollow plastic rubber duck sheβd saved from...
Surviving The Slippery Newborn Phase With A Mesh Seat
My knees were cracking against the cold hexagonal tile of our vintage Chicago apartment bathroom while I gripped a screaming, six-pound human who felt exactly like a wet football covered in olive oil. The tap was running. Steam was fogging...
The Big Myth About Johnson Baby Shampoo (And What I Use Now)
I was sitting on the cold, unforgiving bathroom tile in my favorite pair of ancient, bleach-stained yoga pants. It was exactly 8:14 PM on a Tuesday. Maya, who was two at the time and going through a truly unhinged phase...
Don't Throw the Baby Out With the Bathwater: Note to Past Priya
It's three in the morning on a Tuesday. You're currently standing over the kitchen garbage can, holding a sleep sack covered in what we clinically refer to as a code brown. You're debating whether to just burn the garment, the...
The real story on the frida baby bath tub and the daily wash myth
I was standing in my cramped Chicago bathroom at eight in the evening with a slippery, shrieking newborn who looked exactly like a wet baby bat. My mother-in-law was on FaceTime, loudly explaining that he needed this nightly ritual to...
Why the relaxing baby tub routine is actually a massive lie
I'm currently staring at a puddle of lukewarm water slowly seeping into the grout of my bathroom floor, while somewhere in the distance, a rogue rubber duck is wedged firmly behind the loo. My knees are making a noise that...