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London dad holding two crying toddlers fighting over a silicone teether toy.

Surviving The Absolute Carnage Of The Modern Envy Baby Phase

At precisely 2:14 PM last Tuesday, Florence made the fatal mistake of looking at a blue plastic cup. She didn't touch the cup. She didn't even point her sticky, jam-covered finger at the cup. She merely glanced at it with...

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Tired British dad attempting to raise a healthy baby amidst twin chaos.

The Great Healthy Baby Myth: Surviving Your First Two Years

I'm currently staring at a beige, violently stained sleepsuit that was, until approximately four minutes ago, perfectly pristine and white. It's 6:15 AM on a Tuesday, and one of the twinsβ€”let’s call her the Loud One, though honestly they alternate...

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A tired dad holding a teething twin who is happily chewing on a silicone toy

The exact number of tiny teeth to expect (and how to survive them)

There I was, standing in our London kitchen at four in the morning with a screaming toddler on each hip, trying to sort through three entirely contradictory pieces of advice I’d received that week. My mother-in-law had cheerfully suggested rubbing...

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A dad looking confused while trying to put a snowsuit on a very bendy baby

The bizarre math of exactly how many bones do babies have

I was trying to fold my daughter into a pram suit that was arguably designed for a slightly smaller, more cooperative species of mammal, when I noticed her leg was bending at an angle that would have required me to...

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A tired dad attempting the bicycle legs maneuver on a uncooperative baby.

The midnight quest to help a backed-up baby poop instantly

Florence’s face was the colour of an overripe aubergine, and she was grunting with the intensity of an Olympic powerlifter attempting a personal best. It was 2:14 AM. I was kneeling on the nursery rug in my boxers, holding her...

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An exhausted dad sitting on the hallway floor staring at a baby monitor.

The honest guide on how to sleep train a baby (without losing it)

It's 2:14 AM. I'm sitting on the top stair of our narrow London terrace, clutching a cold, profoundly sad crumpet, aggressively watching the timer on my phone tick down from five minutes. From behind the closed nursery door, Florence is...

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Exhausted London dad holding two toddlers and five overflowing daycare bags

Surviving the twin daycare drop-off without crying in your car

It's 7:14 AM on a Tuesday, and I'm holding a solitary blue Wellington boot. Florence is currently wearing the other boot on her left hand, aggressively smearing Greek yogurt into the kitchen tiles, while Matilda is completely naked from the...

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Exhausted dad staring blankly into space while holding two screaming infants

Confessions of a smug London dad: Surviving a real cry-baby

It was 3:14 in the morning, and the hallway carpet was perfectly imprinting its cheap synthetic weave into my bare knees. I had Twin A tucked under my left arm like a highly volatile rugby ball, and Twin B draped...

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A tired dad looking at a baby monitor next to a pile of organic cotton onesies

The reality of raising a CDH baby when you have absolutely no idea ...

When we got the twenty-week anomaly scan results for the twins, I received exactly three pieces of advice about what to do next. My mother-in-law told us to play Mozart to the bump to encourage "internal harmony," a woman in...

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