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Tired dad looking at a laptop while baby plays with wooden toys on the floor

Why a Roblox Baby Search Terrified Me Out of Digital Parenting

It was 2:14 AM on a Tuesday, and my 11-month-old daughter was systematically attempting to pry the escape key off my mechanical keyboard while I desperately searched for a digital distraction. I just needed ten minutes of peace to drink...

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Toddler playing with a wooden block at a restaurant table

Why we are all lying about the dreaded tablet toddler phase

Listen, we're sitting at a loud brunch spot off the Blue Line, and my son decides the texture of his waffle is deeply offensive. He throws it on the floor. He starts winding up for that specific, ear-piercing shriek that...

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11-month-oldeducational toysinfant developmentparenting humorscreen time
Exhausted dad staring at a smart TV screen while baby plays on a wooden mat

The baby doll movie voice search disaster on a rainy Tuesday

It was exactly 6:14 AM, the rain was coming down in that relentless, gray Portland way, and I was holding a bottle of formula I had meticulously calibrated to precisely 98.6 degrees. My daughter, currently known in my mental database...

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Tired mom holding a TV remote looking shocked at a smart TV screen in a dark living room

Why Your Innocent TV Search Could Show Your Toddler an R-Rated Movie

It was 3:17 AM on a Tuesday, and I was quite literally running on a half-eaten sleeve of stale saltines and the sheer desperate hope that my eight-month-old would just close her eyes. She had been screaming since midnight, teething...

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Toddler watching Baby Looney Tunes in a soft organic cotton bodysuit

Dear Past Priya: The Truth About Baby Looney Tunes

Dear Priya from last November. You're currently sitting on the floor of the nursery in our Logan Square apartment at three in the morning. The radiator is making that terrifying clanking noise again. The baby has a mild fever from...

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Toddler sitting on the floor watching a movie in a living room.

Why The Sudden Obsession With Baby Rosalina Threw Me For A Loop

It was exactly 4:12 PM on a rainy Thursday, and I was wearing my husband Dave's oversized college sweatshirt which smells faintly of old garlic and desperation, staring completely dead-eyed at our living room TV. Maya, my seven-year-old, was sobbing...

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11-month-oldbabyearly developmentparenting humorscreen time
A frustrated dad looking at a tablet while his baby plays with a wooden toy

Debugging the Roblox Baby Nessie Meltdown

Whatever you do, don't try to explain the mathematics of random number generation to an eight-year-old who's actively weeping onto your couch cushions. I learned this the hard way last Saturday. My nephew Leo was visiting for the weekend, huddled...

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Frustrated dad drinking coffee while toddlers play with kpop demon hunters toys

Surviving The Kpop Demon Hunters Baby Phase With Twin Toddlers

I'm currently crouched behind our kitchen island at 6:15 am, clutching a lukewarm mug of instant coffee and watching my two-year-old daughters attempt a synchronized tactical roll across the living room rug. One of them is holding a rather grubby...

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A frustrated mom looking at a tablet next to a baphi baby search term block

The Baphi Baby Search Incident: Why I Threw Our iPad Away

I was up to my elbows in raw chicken and breadcrumbs when I heard it. That specific, slightly robotic chime of the voice-assistant activating on the family iPad that my three-year-old had dragged into the kitchen. I didn't think much...

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