Magazine

A frustrated dad staring at a massive list of potential baby names on his phone

The brutally honest guide to choosing baby names boy edition

There's a pervasive, highly destructive lie floating around the maternity wards and NCT classes of Britain, and it goes something like this: don't worry if you haven't picked a name yet, because the second they hand him to you, you'll...

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Two toddlers pointing at a television screen showing a cartoon pig family

How Peppa Pig's New Arrival Fixed Our Sibling Transition Chaos

I was sitting cross-legged on a spectacularly stained rug, holding up a somewhat mangled stuffed rabbit and speaking in a high-pitched voice, trying to explain the concept of human gestation to my two-year-old twin daughters. They stared at me with...

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A cardboard box full of discarded stuffed animals sitting next to a wooden play gym.

The Truth About Unique Baby Gifts From A Mom Who Kept The Receipts

I'm currently standing in my garage sweating through my favorite oversized t-shirt, aggressively trying to shove a five-foot-tall plush giraffe into a cardboard donation box while my toddler throws stale Cheerios at the dog. My oldest, bless her heart, was...

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Frustrated dad holding a noisy plastic toy while an 11-month-old baby sleeps

A Portland Dad's Honest Guide to Picking Gifts for Infants

It was 3:14 AM on a Tuesday when our system completely crashed. My son had just executed a flawless, database-corrupting diaper blowout, and my wife and I were running on maybe ninety total minutes of fragmented sleep. The nursery thermostat...

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A tired father holding two baby girls wrapped in neutral organic bamboo blankets.

What Parents Actually Want When You Buy Baby Gifts for Girls

My sister-in-law cornered me by the kettle just before the twins arrived, waving a mug of herbal tea, and firmly stated that I must only buy neutral organic linen so my girls wouldn't be forced into oppressive gender roles before...

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A bewildered dad staring at a pile of loud plastic baby boy toys in his Portland living room.

Why The Best Baby Gifts For Boys Don’t Have Batteries Or Sirens

I'm currently sitting on my living room rug, surrounded by what I can only describe as a localized explosion of primary-colored plastic, wondering who decided that every single present for a male infant needs to simulate a construction site emergency....

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A confused dad holding a vintage 90s plush toy with a heart tag at 2 AM

Dear Past Tom: The Great Beanie Baby Birthday Calendar Incident

Dear Tom of six months ago, You're currently hunched over the kitchen island, illuminated only by the harsh, judgemental glow of your phone and the standby light on the Tommee Tippee prep machine. One of the twins is asleep, radiating...

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Exhausted dad holding two crying twins surrounded by useless musical baby toys

How to choose a baby gift without getting blocked on WhatsApp

I'm currently standing in my narrow London hallway holding a four-foot-tall plush giraffe that aggressively blares a tinny version of 'It's a Small World' whenever you look at it funny. It's Tuesday morning, my two-year-old twin girls are currently screaming...

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Tom trying to keep a glowing glassy baby safe from twin toddlers

Surviving the Trend: Keeping a Glassy Baby Safe Around Real Twins

My mother-in-law told me it was a deeply spiritual heirloom that would absorb the chaotic energy of our household. My sister whispered it was the ultimate high-status nursery accessory that proved we were officially grown-ups. My mate Dave simply texted...

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