The Truth About Burtβs Bees Infant Gear: A Dad's Guide
At approximately 3:14 am last Tuesday, I found myself trying to locate my daughter Aliceβs foot inside a yellow sleepsuit that appeared to have been tailored for a medium-sized golden retriever. I was sweating, the baby was screaming, and the...
Debugging The Baby Pumpkin Costume: A First-Time Dad's Guide
The internal temperature of a synthetic plush gourd is roughly equivalent to the surface of the sun. I'm holding a screaming, bright orange sphere in the middle of a muddy Portland farm, desperately trying to find a zipper that apparently...
A Letter to My Past Self About This Whole Ozempic Babies Surprise
Dear Jess from six months ago. I see you sitting there on the cold tile of the guest bathroom floor, staring at that plastic stick while the washing machine thumps against the wall so hard it feels like an earthquake....
The Medical Truth About Rubber Baby Buggy Bumpers And Safety
I was shivering on Southport Avenue, pushing a ridiculously expensive piece of aesthetic plastic over a frozen Chicago pothole. The front wheels locked up on a chunk of dirty street ice. The stroller abruptly stopped, and my four-month-old's head violently...
Max Verstappen Baby Quotes and the Packaged Chicken Problem
My mother-in-law told me I had to hold the baby firmly against my left pectoral so she could sync to my heartbeat like a Bluetooth device. My senior developer Slack-messaged me to keep the baby elevated at exactly a 45-degree...
The Freezing Car Seat Meltdown And The Winter Gear Fix
Listen. It was negative four degrees in Chicago, the kind of cold that physically hurts your face, and I was losing a wrestling match with an infant in a Honda CRV. My son was three months old. I had dressed...
Before & After a Baby Wasp Sting: What I Wish I Had Known Earlier
It was 2:14 PM on a Tuesday, and I was wearing those terrible gray biker shorts that ride up too high, holding a lukewarm iced coffee that I hadnβt actually taken a sip of in three hours. Leo was eight...
The Brutal Truth About Buying Newborn Baby Girl Clothes Today
Before the twins were born, my mother insisted they needed tiny, stiff Victorian dresses with matching lace knickers, presumably just in case the Queen resurrected herself and invited our offspring to a formal garden party. My mate Dave, three pints...
A late night letter to myself about the baby gap discount code
Dear Priya from last November. You're sitting in the dark. The baby is finally down after three false starts. Your phone screen is blinding you because you forgot to turn on night mode. You're staring at a cart containing fourteen...