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A Letter to My Past Self About the Physics of Baby Tableware
Dear Marcus from exactly six months ago, You're currently sitting at the kitchen island, staring at a splatter of pureed sweet potato slowly seeping beneath the 'Esc' key of your favorite mechanical keyboard. You're holding a standard ceramic ramekin in...
Hunting Down The Discontinued Baby Jogger Vue: A Dad's Reality
I'm currently crouched behind a faux-reclaimed wood table at a Portland coffee shop, obsessively refreshing Facebook Marketplace on my phone while my 11-month-old attempts to deep-throat a cork coaster. Before I became a dad, my entire philosophy on gear was...
Why That Adorable Baby Girl Sweater Set is a Trap (And How to Survi...
There's a very specific, muffled grunting sound a three-month-old makes when you're trying to force her exceptionally wobbly, disproportionately large head through the unyielding neck-hole of a rigidly knitted garment. It’s a noise that instantly broadcasts to the entire Costa...
Why the organic jersey baby tee is the only shirt you need
It was three in the morning in the pediatric step-down unit when I watched a first-time dad try to wrestle a stiff, miniature chambray button-down over his screaming newborn's freshly placed IV line. He was sweating right through his hospital...
Dear Past Tom: The Truth About Vintage Style Infant Dresses
Dear Tom of six months ago. It's 3 AM, and you're currently staring at your phone in the dark, bidding forty quid on a pair of authentic 1950s smocked baby gowns on eBay. Stop it immediately. Put the phone down,...
The Hard Truth About Buying Authentic Vintage Newborn Dresses
I'm currently staring at a yellowed, lace-covered, pintucked monstrosity hanging on the back of my laundry room door. It's my great-aunt's baptism gown from 1942, and my mother just drove it three hours across Texas in a garment bag like...
The Reality of Putting Your Baby in Old Hand-Me-Downs
My mother handed me a cardboard box that smelled distinctly of mothballs and aggressive potpourri right after my twenty-week ultrasound. We were sitting at her kitchen table in the suburbs. She pushed the box across the laminate counter with the...
The Knitted Newborn Outfit Girl Disaster and What We Learned
Picture this: It’s 3:00 AM on our second night home from the hospital. Maya is screaming at a volume I didn't know a seven-pound human could physically generate. I'm sweating completely through my t-shirt. My wife Sarah is frantically typing...
Ranking the best indoor jungle gym for toddlers as a new dad
My 11-month-old’s left big toe was wedged firmly into the cooling vent of my PlayStation 5 while his right hand maintained a white-knuckle death grip on the edge of the media console. He was attempting to scale the living room...