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11-month-oldbaby gearfatherhoodinternet safetymillennial
Confused dad looking at his phone next to a wooden baby gym

The Sweet Baby Inc Panic: Why I Thought Our Nursery Was Compromised

I was sitting cross-legged on the floor of the nursery at 3:14 AM, frantically scanning the back of an organic lotion bottle with my phone flashlight, convinced I had somehow introduced a catastrophic vulnerability into our household infrastructure. My eleven-month-old...

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6-month-oldbaby carebaby feedinginfant healthinfant safety
Pediatric nurse explains methemoglobinemia and tainted water

That night with a tainted blue baby changed my feeding rules

I was three hours into a Tuesday night triage shift when a terrified dad ran through the sliding doors holding an infant the exact color of a bruised eggplant. Listen. I've seen a thousand of these panicked parents sprinting into...

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11-month-oldbabyfatherhoodinternet safetynature learning
Marcus holding an 11-month-old baby looking at an oak tree in a backyard.

My confusing search for a talented baby squirrel in Portland

My 11-month-old was actively attempting to ingest a handful of premium Portland moss when my phone vibrated in my pocket. We were doing our mandatory morning yard time, which mostly consists of me following him around like a poorly programmed...

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Mother talking to her infant on an organic play mat

Talk To Me Baby: Why We Need To Stop Sounding Like Tax Attorneys

I was at a coffee shop in Lincoln Park yesterday when I heard a mother next to me explaining the concept of municipal bonds to her three-month-old. She was using a flat, monotone, deeply serious voice. The infant was staring...

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11-month-oldbaby sleepfatherhoodfourth trimestermillennialorganic cotton
Exhausted dad in a messy Portland kitchen staring at a baby monitor

Why your favorite audio show won't patch your infant's firmware

It’s 3:17 AM. The Portland rain is aggressively smacking against the kitchen window. I've exactly one AirPod in, listening to some pediatric sleep guru explain the best ambient temperature for a nursery, while my son—an 11-month-old dictator I lovingly refer...

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baby gearbaby registrybaby showernew bornorganic baby essentials
Target baby registry welcome bag contents spread out on a wooden table

The truth about claiming the Target baby registry welcome kit

My mother-in-law told me I had to physically march up to the customer service desk, show them my pregnancy app, and politely demand my gift bag. My best friend swore the whole thing was an internet myth because her local...

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baby healthbaby teethinginfant safetyparenting adviceteething toys
A tired dad holding a drooling baby chewing on a silicone panda teether.

Why We Threw Out Our Teething Tablets (And What Actually Works)

It was 3:14 AM on a Tuesday. The crib sheet was basically a swamp of drool, and I was frantically swiping through my phone with my left thumb while bouncing a screaming 6-month-old on my right hip. My brain was...

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11-month-oldbabye babyhistoryinfant safetymorning sickness
Marcus looking stressed at a pharmacy aisle holding pregnancy safe ginger drops.

Why the thalidomide baby tragedy still dictates pregnancy rules

I was standing in aisle four of a aggressively crunchy Portland natural grocery store, holding a box of German herbal nausea pills that smelled like dirt and black licorice. Sarah was eight weeks pregnant. For the last seventy-two hours, she...

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90s nostalgiababy accessoriesbaby healthdigital footprintinfant safetyorganic baby clothes
A messy bedroom floor with a spilled cup of coffee next to a wooden teething rattle and a smartphone.

Real Talk: The "That's My Baby She's Iconic" Trend Is Exhausting

Dear Sarah from six months ago, You're currently sitting on the edge of the master bathtub at 2:14 AM wearing those gray sweatpants with the bleach stain on the thigh, and you're literally crying into a mug of coffee that...

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