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Why I Tossed That Amber Teething Necklace Straight in the Trash
I was sitting in the nursery rocking chair at three in the morning with a baby who had completely saturated his third onesie of the night with pure drool. My oldest son—who's basically the walking, talking cautionary tale for every...
The Messy Truth About Giving Your Twins a Toddler Blanket
My mother told me that if the girls weren't under a thick wool quilt by November, I was essentially committing child neglect. My aggressively modern NCT friend, on the other hand, strongly implied over flat whites that introducing any loose...
Why the Toddler Sleep Sack is the Only Way We Survive Bedtime
It was 2:13 AM on a random Tuesday when I heard the unmistakable, bone-chilling thump coming from the nursery down the hall. I dropped the Etsy shop packing tape I was holding, sprinted down the hardwood floor expecting the absolute...
The "Baby Store Near Me" Trap: A Father's Reconnaissance Guide
I'm standing under fluorescent lights that could illuminate a surgical theatre, sweating through my jumper while a nineteen-year-old named Brayden earnestly explains the shock absorption capabilities of a £1,200 double pram. One of the twins is currently trying to eat...
Decoding the Holiday Dress Code: Surviving Baby's First Christmas
I'm currently staring at a miniature three-piece tweed suit that my mother-in-law mailed us for my 11-month-old daughter's first holiday party. It has an actual pocket square. It has a vest with decorative buttons smaller than a grain of rice....
Debugging Dinner: The Honest Truth About Washable Adult Bibs
At exactly 6:14 PM on Thanksgiving, the system architecture of our family dinner completely collapsed. My eleven-month-old, currently running a highly unstable version of his motor-skills firmware, had just discovered the gravitational physics of mashed sweet potatoes, launching a spoonful...
The Truth About Suntan Lotion for Newborns (And Summer Survival)
It was 28 degrees in London, which means the pavements were melting, the Central Line had become a mobile sauna, and everyone was suddenly terribly aggressive about acquiring ice lollies. I was standing in the sun care aisle of Boots,...
Sunblock Newborn Panic: What I Wish I Knew About Summer
Dear Past Me from exactly six months ago. Okay, I know. Time is a flat circle. Leo is four now, and Maya is seven, and we're blissfully out of the fragile newborn woods. But six months ago, when my best...
Letter to My Past Self: The Cold Truth About Toddler Wooden Blocks
It's 2:14 in the morning. I'm sitting on the edge of the bathtub rubbing the arch of my left foot where a neon plastic interlocking brick just tried to amputate my heel. I'm writing this to you, Priya from six...