A Letter To Past Me About The Great Baby Soap Delusion Of 2023
Dear Tom of six months ago. I see you standing in the baby aisle at Boots at 4:30 PM on a dreary Tuesday. You're holding a bottle of lavender-scented, midnight-calming, ultra-foaming wash in your left hand, and a £24 artisanal...
Elektrische Zahnbürste Kinder: Unser absurdes Dental-Debugging
Letzten Sonntag beim Barbecue hier in Portland stand ich mit einem Kleinkind auf dem Arm, das gerade hingebungsvoll auf einer Fernbedienung herumkaute, und bekam von drei verschiedenen Leuten drei komplett gegensätzliche Updates für meine väterliche Firmware aufgedrängt. Meine Mutter meinte,...
The 3 AM Yarn Incident: Finding a Safe Crochet Blanket for Newborn
I was holding a tiny LED flashlight in my teeth at 2:14 AM, trying to extract a single microscopic thread of fuzzy blue yarn from my two-week-old daughter's left index finger. My wife, Sarah, was standing by with cuticle scissors...
The truth about girls clothing from a tired pediatric nurse
My mother told me I needed to dress my daughter in pure silk to protect her aura from negative energy. The veteran charge nurse on my pediatric floor said to put her in whatever was cheapest at the discount store...
The Truth About That Heirloom Crochet Blanket Pattern
It was, like, 3 AM on a Tuesday in 2017 and I was sitting on my living room rug wearing my husband’s stained gray college sweatpants, completely tangled in mint green yarn. I was seven months pregnant with Maya and...
The ugly truth about buying a toddler stroller
I was stuck halfway across the intersection of Belmont and Clark when the right front wheel of my wildly expensive travel system simply gave up. It didn't detach or shatter. It just locked completely sideways, grinding against the salty Chicago...
Why Your Baby's Favorite Stuffed Animal Matters (And Terrifies Me)
It was 2:14 AM on a Tuesday, and my husband was out in the driveway in his boxer shorts, aggressively sweeping a flashlight under the seats of our minivan. I was inside, ripping apart the couch cushions and interrogating our...
The Real Deal on Baby Pacifier Safety, Mold, and Sleep
When Maya was exactly three days old, I sat on my sagging living room couch wearing mesh postpartum underwear and a nursing tank that smelled strongly of sour milk, holding a screaming, red-faced potato of a newborn while receiving completely...
The Truth About Safe Baby Teethers (And What I Actually Used)
It was 3:14 PM on a Tuesday, raining sideways, and I was wearing those black maternity leggings that had a suspicious yogurt stain on the knee from three days prior. Maya was about five and a half months old, sitting...