Why That Horrifying Teeth Grinding Sound Your Baby Makes Is Fine
It was exactly 2:14 in the morning when I first heard it. A rhythmic, grating sound cutting through the otherwise silent nursery, like someone slowly crushing chalk with a mortar and pestle, or perhaps a tiny, furious geologist trying to...
Why that "Baby Gem Boxwood" in Your Garden is a Toddler Trap
It was Tuesday, 4pm, and the sky over South London was that specific shade of bruised plum that threatens rain but only ever delivers a sort of aggressive, damp mist. I was staring at a landscaping quote from our landlord...
Why That Cute Miniature Sheep Trend Almost Broke My Sanity
It was 2:14 PM on a Tuesday, and I was standing in ankle-deep Vermont mud holding a half-empty Yeti of room-temperature coffee, watching my 18-month-old daughter Maya actively attempt to French kiss a miniature farm animal. My friend Jen had...
Surviving the Holidays: The Truth About Baby Boy Christmas Outfits
I'm sitting on the floor of my sister-in-law's guest room in Naperville, sweating entirely through a silk blouse. It's December 24th, two years ago. I'm holding a rigid, red velvet baby blazer that costs more than my own winter coat,...
How to Pick a Baby Boy Baptism Outfit for a Catholic Church
Father Michael is speaking at length about the concept of original sin, but I'm entirely focused on preventing my two-year-old daughter, Florence, from eating a laminated hymn book. In the pew ahead of me, my sister is holding my six-month-old...
Troubleshooting BBQ: Baby Back Ribs vs Spare Ribs for Babies
There we were in our backyard, forty-five minutes into a rare sunny Portland afternoon, when I casually handed my 11-month-old son, Leo, a massive, sauce-drenched spare rib. In my sleep-deprived brain, this seemed like a brilliant Baby-Led Weaning victory. I...
Surviving Newborn Sleep and Marriage Without Losing Your Mind
My mother-in-law was standing in my kitchen holding a frozen cabbage leaf, telling me to just put the baby in a laundry basket in the closet if he wouldn't stop crying. My best friend, who lives in a totally different...
My Strange Internet Rabbit Hole: The Beanie Baby Payhip Search
I was standing in the kitchen at 11:42 AM on a Tuesday, wearing my husband's college sweatpants that have a mysterious bleach stain on the left knee, holding a mug of coffee that had been microwaved three separate times since...
That First Slippery Baby Pear And The Constipation Chronicles
My thumb was covered in aquaphor and desperation. It was day four of the great solid-food bowel strike, and my son was looking at me like I had betrayed him. Starting solids at six months is heavily romanticized on the...