A Dad’s Guide on How to Sex Baby Bunnies Before It’s Too Late
I'm currently sitting cross-legged on my living room rug, sweating profusely, staring intensely at the underside of a highly uncooperative ball of fluff, desperately trying to decode its hardware ports. When my wife, Sarah, suggested we encourage two domestic kits...
How long do baby birds stay in the nest before flying away?
"Don't touch it, the mother will smell your grubby little hands and disown it forever!" I shrieked, lunging across the damp London grass with the grace of a man who hasn't slept a full night since the twins were born...
How Long Can A Baby Sleep In A Bassinet Before You Lose It
Dear Sarah from exactly four years and six months ago, It's 3:14 AM on a Tuesday. You're wearing Dave’s stained college lacrosse t-shirt, the one with the hole near the left armpit, and you've literally been staring at Leo for...
How Do People Abadon Babies? A Letter To Myself
Dear Sarah from six months ago, It's 2:14 AM. You're sitting on the cold, weirdly sticky tile of the upstairs bathroom floor. You're wearing Dave's gray Villanova sweatpants—the ones with the literal hole in the left knee that you keep...
Half Angel Baby Anime Trends: My 2 AM Online Shopping Confession
Dear Sarah from last October. It’s 2:14 AM. You’re sitting on the cold kitchen tiles in those grey yoga pants with the mysterious yogurt stain on the left knee, drinking coffee that went cold six hours ago. Maya, who's somehow...
Goro and Tropi Blowjob Baby: A Toddler Internet Safety Nightmare
It was 6:14 AM on a Tuesday, and the flat was freezing because our boiler has the temperament of an aging rock star. I was standing in the kitchen, staring intensely at the kettle, willing the water to boil through...
Smelling like a powdery Brazilian memory won't save your sanity
I was sitting on the edge of the tub, staring at a bottle of Giovanna Baby classic lotion my auntie brought over after the birth. It's pink. It smells like a 1970s powder room mixed with a lingering cherry blossom....
Viewing Baby Rabbit Growth Stages Without the Toddler Chaos
Don't, under any circumstances, take twin two-year-olds to a local petting farm during birthing season. We were knee-deep in Somerset mud last Tuesday when Twin A locked eyes with a newborn kit, let out a war cry that rattled my...
Why I Went Down a Late-Night Rabbit Hole About Crib Scandals
I was holding a 20-volt DeWalt impact driver in one hand and a piece of splintered, ostensibly non-toxic mahogany in the other when my wife gently suggested from the doorway that I was "doing it wrong." It was a Tuesday...