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The kriss_baby_ leaks webcam scare: Why I tossed our monitor
My husband was standing in the hallway in his underwear at two in the morning, aggressively poking the back of our internet router with a bent paperclip while swearing under his breath. I was sitting on the floor of the...
The July 26 Beanie Baby Incident That Broke My Sanity
I'm currently on my hands and knees holding a pair of tweezers and a remarkably weak mobile phone torch in my mouth, desperately trying to extract a single plastic pellet from the gap between our original Victorian floorboards. Twin A...
How To Survive the Newborn Phase Without Losing Your Damn Mind
So I'm standing in my kitchen at like 6:15 in the morning, holding Leo who was maybe three weeks old at the time, wearing a pair of Dave's old flannel pajama pants and a maternity tank top that smelled profoundly...
True symptoms of baby not tolerating formula vs normal gas
It was three in the morning. The radiator in our Chicago apartment was making that rhythmic hissing sound, and my son was rigid as a board. He was doing this terrifying back-arch maneuver, stiffening his little body and screaming at...
Decoding the Spirit Baby: A Tech Dad's Unscientific Parenting Pivot
The smoke alarm in our Portland apartment started screaming at exactly 9:14 PM on a Tuesday, completely interrupting my attempt to build a predictive Python script for my wife’s basal body temperature. I leaped over the coffee table, ripped the...
Toddlers and Smoked Baby Back Ribs: My Messy Survival Guide
It was the Fourth of July, 2021, and I was wearing a white linen Zara sundress because I'm apparently an idiot who likes to tempt fate. Leo was just barely fourteen months old, sitting in his high chair on the...
The Truth About Surviving Weddings in Smocked Baby Girl Clothes
I'm standing in the disabled toilet of a remarkably pretentious Surrey golf club, holding a heavily soiled nappy in one hand and half a crumbling shortbread biscuit in the other. Somewhere beyond the mahogany door, a string quartet is aggressively...
Why You Should Never Put a september 25th beanie baby in a Crib
It was 2017, it was roughly 3:14 in the morning, and I was wearing Dave’s old college track sweatshirt that had a mysterious, permanent yogurt stain right on the collar. Maya wasn't even a thought yet, and Leo was exactly...
The Honest Truth About Rainbow Baby Day 2025 (And What Helps)
I was standing in the church foyer trying to discreetly wrestle a rogue goldfish cracker out of my toddler's nose when a well-meaning older woman cornered me. It'd been four months since my miscarriage. She patted my arm, looked at...