Why the Puffy Baby Snowsuit is a Hardware Flaw
I'm currently staring at a photograph of my son from roughly two months ago. He looks like a deeply unhappy neon blue marshmallow. We were trying to leave our Portland apartment for a walk in forty-degree drizzle, and my wife...
The great myth of jungen spielzeug ab 1 jahr and what to buy instead
I was standing in the intensely blue-hued aisle of a major toy retailer, holding a plastic power drill that emitted a noise normally reserved for deep-sea sonar, trying to figure out what to buy for my nephew Leo's first birthday....
When Baby Dragon Saves the Dukedom: Surviving the Fantasy Stage
Listen, trying to negotiate with a toddler who has currently identified as a mythical fire-breathing reptile is a rookie mistake. I know this because I spent three full days last week trying to apply clinical logic to my two-year-old's sudden...
The Truth About Baby Cowgirl Boots (And My Epic Buying Mistakes)
It was October 2018. I was standing in my kitchen wearing a pair of violently mustard-colored corduroy overalls that I thought made me look like a cool Brooklyn mom but actually made me look like a giant toddler, chugging lukewarm...
The Truth About Baby Clams: A Panicked Parent's Feeding Guide
My mother-in-law firmly believes that giving any form of seafood to a child under the age of five will result in instant, spontaneous combustion. Meanwhile, a bloke I met at the playground in Greenwich—who was wearing barefoot shoes and feeding...
My Humbling Defeat to the Baby Bubble Romper: A Tech Dad's Guide
Tuesday, 2:14 PM. That was the exact timestamp on my smart home logs when I realized trying to wrangle rigid denim onto a screaming eleven-month-old is a foolproof way to break your own spirit. My wife was at a conference,...
The weird truth about keeping your infant son warm this winter
I was thirty-eight weeks pregnant, standing in a freezing Chicago parking lot, violently arguing with my mother on speakerphone about wool. She was convinced my unborn beta would instantly freeze to death the moment we left the maternity ward unless...
The Brutal Truth About $35 Baby Bamboo Pajamas: Are They Worth It?
I'm currently staring at four massive plastic bins in my attic labeled "0-6 Months," completely overflowing with stiff, cheap cotton zip-ups that my oldest son wore for exactly two and a half weeks each before his little sausage toes blew...
A Dad's Guide to Smoking Baby Back Ribs for Tiny Humans
Dear Marcus from exactly six months ago, You're currently standing on the back patio in the Portland drizzle. You have a pair of metal tongs in one hand and your phone in the other, aggressively Googling Traeger recipes. Inside, your...