The First-Time Dad's Guide to Searching Baby Shower Near Me
I had exactly thirty-two tabs open in Chrome, my laptop's cooling fan was sounding like a Boeing 737 at takeoff, and my wife Sarah was giving me a look that translated roughly to a severe compilation error. I had literally...
The Brutal Truth About Baby Shower Flowers (Before vs After Twins)
I was standing in the narrow hallway of our London flat, proudly clutching an enormous £80 arrangement of stargazer lilies, completely convinced I was husband of the year. My wife's pre-baby gathering was starting in an hour, and I'd spared...
Why navigating baby shower chair rentals nearly broke my spirit
It was pouring with rain, naturally, because this is London, and I was wedged firmly between our Victorian front doorframe and a fifty-seven-inch-tall wicker peacock chair. My wife, Sarah, who was approximately eight hundred months pregnant with the twins at...
Real Talk About Baby Shower Captions and Social Media Etiquette
My mom told me to put my phone in a kitchen drawer and not post a single photo of my first pregnancy celebration because "the internet is full of weirdos." My Gen-Z cousin immediately grabbed my phone out of my...
How I Debugged The Spectacular Chaos Of Our Baby Shower Candy
I was staring at a five-pound bag of bright blue gummy pacifiers on our dining table when I realized my wife and I had completely lost our minds. We were exactly three weeks out from the party, and I was...
What To Write In A Baby Shower Book (A Letter To My Stressed Self)
Dear Sarah from six months ago, I know exactly where you're right now. You're standing in Aisle 4 of the Target on Route 9, wearing those black Lululemon leggings with the crusty strawberry yogurt stain on the left knee that...
Troubleshooting the New Mums and Baby Gifts Australia Market
Three different people gave me completely conflicting advice when my sister in Sydney had her baby last month. My neighbor here in Portland told me to ship a six-foot plush kangaroo because "babies love scale." My childless project manager suggested...
The Truth About Baby's Breath Flowers (And Why I Threw Mine Out)
Dave was holding a black lawn-and-leaf trash bag open while I aggressively shoved thirty mason jars of dried white flowers into it, weeping slightly, wearing only a nursing bra and a pair of his grey sweatpants. There was crumbly white...
A letter to past me about the march 27th beanie baby obsession
Dear Priya of six months ago. You're currently sitting on the edge of the guest bathroom tub at two in the morning. The baby is finally asleep after three false starts, and instead of closing your eyes, you're squinting at...