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Why I Threw Away the Pink Plastic (And Found Better Baby Girl Toys)
It was 2:14 AM on December 26th, and I was sitting on the floor in a nursing bra that had completely given up the ghost sometime in 2016 and a pair of Dave's boxer briefs, furiously crying over a plastic...
The Real Story Behind Those Unworn Infant Shoes on Resale Apps
I'm currently staring at six pairs of stiff, leather infant oxfords sitting in my donation pile. Hemingway supposedly wrote a famous six-word tragedy about unworn baby shoes, but honestly, any mom on a local buy-nothing group will tell you it's...
Dear Past Me: The Baby Sonic Toothbrush Wars Will Break You
Dear Tom of six months ago, It's currently Tuesday evening, and you're sitting on the cold, damp tiles of the family bathroom. You have a standard-issue manual infant toothbrush clutched in your sweating right hand, while your twin daughters have...
Finding Rare Beanie Babies In The Attic (And Why I Panicked)
Dear Priya from last October. You're sitting on the concrete floor of your parents' garage in Naperville, surrounded by cardboard boxes that smell like old rain and mothballs. Your mom is upstairs texting you asking if you found the baby...
Dear Past Marcus: A Debugging Guide to the Basic Baby Onesie
It's 3:14 AM in our drafty Portland apartment, and I'm holding my screaming four-month-old son at arm's length like he's a live explosive device. The incident has breached containment. A toxic, mustard-yellow substance has defied the elastic boundaries of his...
The chaotic reality of opening a trump baby account for your toddler
It was midnight on a tuesday when my husband forwarded me an email from our cpa that made my left eye twitch. I was sitting on the nursery floor in my old nursing scrubs, trying to wipe pureed sweet potato...
Surviving the Frilly Nightmare of Cute Baby Girl Clothes
I'm currently standing in the disabled toilet of a Costa Coffee in Wandsworth, staring in abject horror at my daughterβs back. She is wearing a gift from a well-meaning great-auntβa vintage-style, sage green dress featuring no fewer than fourteen microscopic...
The Best Formula for Breastfed Babies (And How to Survive the Switch)
It was 2:14 in the morning with my oldest son, Wyatt, and I was sitting on the edge of the glider sobbing into a burp cloth. He was screaming like a banshee, rooting around like a little feral piglet, and...
Debugging The 90s Plush Stash: The Great Beanie Baby Tag Dilemma
I was sitting cross-legged on the nursery floor at 10 AM on a Saturday, entirely surrounded by a 30-gallon plastic storage bin of my childhood. My mom had just dropped off the "archives," grinning like she had just unburdened herself...