The Truth About Finding A Lone Baby Seal On A Rock At The Beach
Dear Jess from six months ago, who's currently standing on a freezing, aggressively windy Northern California beach holding a half-eaten bag of goldfish crackers while your three kids melt down in stereo. Put the cracker bag down, take a deep...
Finding a Nest in the Garden: A Warning About Infant Rabbits
Dear Tom from exactly six months ago. Right now, you're standing in the middle of the back garden holding a half-eaten Hobnob, wearing only one wellington boot, while your two-year-old twin daughters scream with a terrifying mixture of joy and...
Put That Tupperware Down: The Reality Of Backyard Reptiles
My four-year-old marched into the kitchen yesterday looking like he had just won the lottery. His hands were cupped so tightly together his knuckles were white, and he had that wild, unblinking stare kids get when they're holding something they...
My confusing search for a talented baby squirrel in Portland
My 11-month-old was actively attempting to ingest a handful of premium Portland moss when my phone vibrated in my pocket. We were doing our mandatory morning yard time, which mostly consists of me following him around like a poorly programmed...
What to Feed a Baby Bird: A Panic-Googling Dad's Rescue Guide
Dear Marcus from last May. You're currently standing in your damp NE Portland yard by the rhododendron bush. Your eleven-month-old son is strapped to your chest, actively chewing on the zipper of your jacket, and you're staring down at a...
The Absolute Panic Of Finding Cute Baby Foxes In Your Backyard
I was standing on our back patio in my husband's hideous oversized college sweatpants, holding a lukewarm mug of French roast that I had literally just microwaved for the third time, when seven-year-old Maya started screaming bloody murder. She was...
From Sterile Nurse to Farm Baby Mama: Why I Let My Kid Eat Dirt
I'm sitting on a slightly damp bench in Lincoln Park watching my fourteen-month-old son actively consume a handful of topsoil. He pauses to chew, looks thoughtfully at a passing golden retriever, and goes back for seconds. A year ago, I'd...
Finding A Baby Pigeon In Your Backyard (And What To Do Next)
"I need you to put the coffee down," my husband Dave said at exactly 7:14 AM on a Tuesday, wearing only one sock and looking like he'd seen an actual ghost in our hydrangeas. He was holding our seven-year-old, Leo,...
Dear past Tom: So your toddler found a bird in the garden
Dear Tom from last May. You're currently standing on the patio in your dressing gown, holding a lukewarm mug of instant coffee while watching Maya and Lily enthusiastically poke at a pulsating lump of grey fluff on the lawn, so...