When Do Babies Sit Up On Their Own? The Honest Truth
Last Tuesday, my mother-in-law told me I needed to prop my four-month-old in a corner with pillows or his spine would stay curved forever. The next day, a girl in my mom group swore her babie was doing unassisted crunches...
Surviving the Three-Month Mark Without Losing Your Mind
My mother-in-law showed up on a Tuesday with a box of rice cereal, swearing that mixing it into a bottle would finally make my kid sleep through the night. Two hours later, the lactation consultant at the clinic told me...
Dear Past Me: Please Put Down That Baby Percentile Calculator
Dear Jess from six months ago, You're currently sitting on the faded living room rug with a floppy yellow sewing tape measure in one hand and your phone in the other, furiously typing slightly inaccurate measurements into a baby percentile...
What a Baby Cheetah Taught Me About My Own Crawling Toddler
We were standing in front of the big cat enclosure at the Bronx Zoo last Tuesday. I was wearing my aggressively stained Lululemon leggings, holding a lukewarm cup of drip coffee that tasted faintly of pennies, while Leoβwho's four going...
The Truth About When Your Baby Actually Sits Up
When my daughter Maya was five months old, I got three entirely different pieces of advice about her sitting up in the span of about twenty-four hours. My mother-in-law, bless her, came over and immediately started shoving Maya into the...
The 3 AM Google Spiral: Early Signs of Autism in Babies
I'm sitting on the freezing bathroom tiles at 2:14 in the morning, bathed in the blue light of my smartphone, watching my daughter E repeatedly line up three plastic bath boats in absolute silence. In the next room, her twin...
When Do Babies Get Teeth? A Dad's Troubleshooting Guide
Dear Marcus from six months ago: Put down the tactical flashlight. She is not going to let you look in her mouth, and shining a 1000-lumen beam at a five-month-old's face at 2 AM is exactly why your wife is...
Debugging Gravity: When Do Babies Start Sitting Up Usually?
It's currently 7:14 PM, and I'm building a fortress of couch cushions around my eleven-month-old daughter on our living room rug. She is folded entirely in half, staring intensely at a piece of lint she found near the coffee table....
Why raising a toddler feels exactly like domesticating a wild mammal
It was three in the morning and my son was slick with sweat, drool, and the unmistakable rage of a creature who had just discovered teeth. He was thrashing against my chest, refusing the bottle I was offering. I was...