Magazine

Marcus playing acoustic version of lil baby gunna - close friends chords for his baby

Why I Learned Trap Music Guitar Chords for a Crying Infant at 3 AM

Dear Marcus from six months ago, It's currently 3:14 AM, the relentless Portland rain is hammering against the nursery window, and you're standing in the middle of the room wearing boxer briefs, holding your dusty acoustic guitar like it's a...

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Stressed mom holding baby and checking concert tickets on phone

Why Buying Lil Baby Concert Tickets For a Baby is a Bad Idea

It was 9:15 PM in section 204 of the arena. My phone was open to a decibel-reading app I had downloaded in a panic in the parking lot, and the screen was just flashing the word "DANGEROUS" in bright red...

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Exhausted dad staring at baby formula bottles in a dark kitchen

Lactose Free Formula For Babies: A Dad's Guide To Gut Bugs

It's 3:14 AM. I'm standing in our Portland kitchen, bathed in the harsh blue light of the microwave clock, frantically whisking a brand-new can of soy powder into a bottle while my 11-month-old screams like a dial-up modem connecting to...

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Exhausted dad staring at baby videos on his phone in a dark nursery

Dear Past Me: That TikTok issa_hay_baby_ Account Isn't Real

It’s exactly 3:14 AM right now in your timeline, and you're sitting on the edge of the glider while the baby does that weird pterodactyl screech that means his sleep cycle is resetting. Your face is bathed in the cold...

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Pediatric nurse Priya organizing an emergency infant go-bag with baby carrier and helmets

What Is A Tornado Baby Medical Truth I Wish I Knew

You're sitting in the windowless interior hallway of our Chicago apartment right now, sweating through a t-shirt while the sirens blare outside. The dog is pacing, the power is flickering, and you're frantically scrolling through your phone trying to figure...

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A baby laying on a playmat reaching for their bare toes

When Do Babies Discover Their Feet: A Letter to My Anxious Self

Dear Priya from six months ago. You're sitting on the nursery rug at 3 AM. The glow of the humidifier is casting weird shadows on the wall, and your kid is lying flat on his back, staring at the ceiling...

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A frustrated mom holding a toddler at the pediatric dentist office

The Truth About That First Xray of Baby Teeth (A Letter to Past Me)

Dear Jess from last October. I know exactly where you're right now. You're currently trapped in the waiting room of Dr. Evans' pediatric dental office, sweating entirely through your favorite vintage baby tee, watching Wyatt systematically dismantle a wooden bead...

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Mother organizing baby gear in a store parking lot while holding car keys

The Yucaipa Case: Why Parking Lot Anxiety is Completely Real

Let me tell you what not to do. Don't try to manage a level-four diaper blowout on the slightly curved bumper of a compact SUV in the middle of a Target parking lot when the wind chill is hovering around...

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Toddler reaching for a coffee table near a glass of whiskey

Why baby jane bourbon is a childproofing nightmare

When my son's first tooth started aggressively pushing its way through his lower gums last month, I received three distinct pieces of troubleshooting advice. My dad, operating on legacy parenting code from 1989, told me to just rub a drop...

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