My Toddlers and the Baby Shark Coloring Pages Obsession
The terrifyingly cheerful synthesizer intro echoes from the iPad in the kitchen, and I've exactly four seconds before my twin daughters initiate a full-scale riot. It's 6:15 AM on a rainy Tuesday in London, the kind of grey, spiteful drizzle...
Why The Ronettesβ 1963 Hit Is My Ultimate Parenting Hack
It was 3:14 AM on a Tuesday in November, and Maya was screaming with the kind of primal, glass-shattering intensity that makes your own teeth physically hurt. I was wearing a gray fleece robe that smelled vaguely of sour milk...
The Truth About That Uncanny Squid Game CGI Baby Everyone Hates
It was Tuesday night, raining in Chicago, and I was sitting on my couch eating cold leftover palak paneer directly out of the Tupperware. My toddler was finally asleep upstairs, which meant I had exactly forty-five minutes of silence before...
Why Nursery Rhymes For Babies Actually Work Better Than White Noise
It was 3:17 AM in the dead heat of a Texas July, the cicadas were screaming outside my window, and my oldest son Liam was screaming even louder right directly into my collarbone. I had sour milk on my shirt,...
The unvarnished truth about baby coloring pages and eating wax
We were sitting in a rather nice gastropub in Highbury when Florence, who was exactly eleven months and four days old, locked eyes with me and bit the top half off a complimentary red pub crayon. She chewed it with...
The Viral Baby Rasta Drama & The Truth About Public Meltdowns
I was standing in aisle four of our local H-E-B last Tuesday, balancing a jumbo pack of overnight diapers on my left hip while my two-year-old practically levitated out of the shopping cart, screaming at a pitch only dogs and...
The Truth About Those Hypnotic Dancing Fruit Videos
The steam from the shower was fogging up my phone screen, but I could still hear the upbeat, slightly manic techno music bouncing off the bathroom tile. My oldest, Tyler, was strapped into his bouncer chair next to the toilet,...
Surviving the Neon Chaos of Baby Shark's Big Show with Twins
"Don't let them watch it, it completely ruins their developing attention span," said Sarah from our NCT group, sipping a decaf flat white while her only child quietly consumed an artisanal lentil. "Just put it on, mate, it's the only...
The absolute chaos of the home baby ball pit (and why we caved)
"Get them a tub of plastic spheres," my mother-in-law announced over Sunday roast, waving her fork for emphasis, "it tires them out." "Donβt you dare," warned Clara from my NCT group a week later, eyes wide over her flat white,...