Magazine

A blurry 4D ultrasound photo of a baby that looks slightly like an extraterrestrial

When your 4D ultrasound baby alien leaked on the family group chat

The ultrasound gel was freezing, and the sonographer whose name tag said Brenda was pushing the wand into my bladder with the force of a hydraulic press. We were at the 20-week anatomy scan. The monitor in the dark room...

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Pregnant woman sitting on a bathroom floor looking worried while holding a phone

When Can You Hear Baby Heartbeat Without Losing Your Mind

It's 3:14 AM on a Tuesday, and I'm lying flat on the cold hexagonal tiles of my master bathroom floor, wearing a pair of maternity leggings that are already too tight even though I’m only nine weeks pregnant, and my...

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A tired pregnant woman looking skeptically at a baby gender prediction chart

Is There Actually an Accurate Baby Gender Predictor Out There

At fourteen weeks pregnant, I went to a family dinner, stopped for coffee the next morning, and saw my obstetrician that afternoon. My mother-in-law took one look at my chin breakouts and declared I was carrying a girl who was...

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Nervous dad looking at a blurry 2D infant sonogram screen in a dark clinic room

Baby Ultrasound Expectations vs. Reality: A Nervous Dad's Guide

The worst Tuesday of my entire life started in a strip mall between a discount vape shop and a dry cleaner that smelled aggressively like harsh chemicals. My wife, Sarah, was 28 weeks pregnant, and her sister had gifted us...

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newborn baby wrapped in an organic cotton blanket sleeping soundly

What Will My Baby Look Like (And Other Late Night Mysteries)

I was thirty-four weeks pregnant, sitting in the dark at two in the morning, paying a sketchy app five dollars to merge my face with my husband's. The result loaded on my phone screen and I just stared at it....

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Ultrasound scan showing early pregnancy development with a natural wooden teething toy resting nearby on a blanket

That viral stone baby video is lying to you about pregnancy

It's two in the morning and I'm watching my toddler practice his mixed martial arts kicks in his sleep while my phone screen illuminates the dark. The algorithm, in its infinite wisdom, has decided that what a tired mother really...

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Me sitting on the bathroom floor staring at a baby blood test kit in total panic

when can u find out babys gender (and the bathroom floor incident)

I was sitting on the cold hexagonal tiles of our half-bathroom at exactly 8:14 PM on a Tuesday, wearing Dave’s stained college sweatpants, aggressively squeezing my own index finger while trying not to pass out. There was blood on the...

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A confused dad looking at an unreadable 4D ultrasound printout of his baby.

The 4D Strip Mall Ultrasound Panic We Absolutely Did Not Need

The room smelled aggressively like vanilla plug-in air fresheners and shared a drywall boundary with a discount mattress store. I was sitting in a faux-leather theater recliner in the Portland suburbs, sweating through my t-shirt, while a woman who introduced...

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