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The Reality Behind 'Me As A Baby' Memes: A Letter To Past Marcus
You're currently sitting on the edge of the bathtub at 2:14 AM, staring at the baby monitor app on your phone, trying to figure out why your five-month-old son sounds like a dial-up modem struggling to connect to a bad...
Why Muppet Babies Is The Only Reboot I Tolerate
It's exactly 6:14 AM on a Tuesday, and my 11-month-old son is attempting to aggressively eat the Roku remote. I'm running on three hours of fragmented sleep and half a cup of cold, day-old pour-over coffee. The biggest myth they...
The Chaos of Niche Chinese Babies Lyrics in Our London Flat
It was 6:13 AM on a Tuesday, and my living room floor was already covered in a sticky layer of crushed oatcakes and unidentifiable moisture. Twin A had Twin B in what I can only describe as a competitive headlock...
Why Raising A Little Tiger Shouldn't Mean Losing Your Mind
The biggest lie they tell us about raising successful kids is that you've to start treating them like miniature Harvard applicants the second they crown. I remember sitting on my hand-me-down couch with my oldest baby, heavily caffeinated and crying...
How to Handle a Tick Bite on Your Baby Without Losing Your Mind
I was elbows deep in lukewarm bathwater trying to scrub what I thought was a stubborn piece of dried Texas dirt out from behind my four-month-oldβs left ear. My oldest was running around the bathroom completely naked, loudly singing a...
Baby This is Keke Palmer: How a Pop Culture Podcast Saved My Sanity
It was 2:14 PM on a Tuesday in late October, four years ago when Leo was just a tiny, furious newborn. I was sitting in the driverβs seat of my Honda CR-V in the Target parking lot. I was wearing...
When baby tears sims 4 complaints broke me during a 3am twin meltdown
It was 3:14 in the morning, and I was illuminated entirely by the sickly blue glow of my phone screen while Twin A writhed against my shoulder like a damp, furious sack of potatoes. Twin B was mercifully unconscious in...
What to Look for in a Baby Shower Guest Dress (Without Losing Your ...
Dear Jess of six months ago, currently standing in front of your open closet, sweating into a stained Target graphic tee while trying to figure out what the heck "garden casual" means. I see you, I'm you, and I need...
Surviving the Late-Night Chaos of Baby Shower Cookies
It was 2:13 AM and I was standing in my kitchen wearing my husband's college sweatpants and a nursing tank that definitely smelled like sour milk, holding a piping bag of pale yellow icing that was supposed to look like...