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1-month-oldbaby cryingbaby safetyhumourinfant carelondon dad
Exhausted dad holding two crying babies in a modern nursery

3AM Screaming, K-Pop Fixes, And Why Babies Cry

"Leave them, it exercises their lungs," my mother-in-law declared over Sunday roast, waving a forkful of parsnip in the general direction of the nursery. "If you don't respond within thirty seconds, they'll develop crippling attachment trauma," our NHS health visitor...

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Tired London dad holding two messy twin babies in a posh room

Why I Will Never Buy the Baby Dior Perfume for My Twin Girls

Last Tuesday at precisely 4:15 PM, I found myself standing in a terrifyingly white Georgian townhouse in South Kensington, wiping a smear of mashed banana off my left shoulder while watching a woman named Cressida casually spritz her eight-month-old son...

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A baby dachshund sitting cautiously next to a toddler's wooden toys

How to Stop Your Toddler from Accidentally Breaking a Baby Dachshund

I was halfway through a tepid cup of Earl Grey when I saw it happening in slow motion. Twin A, my slightly more chaotic two-year-old, was attempting to swing her leg over a visiting twelve-week-old sausage dog like she was...

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6-month-old8-month-oldbaby developmenteco-friendlyhumourlondon dad
A tired dad looking at baby toys scattered across a living room floor

Surviving 29 Weeks: From Butternut Squashes to Tiny Terrorists

I'm currently watching a piece of steamed sweet potato make its third, highly ambitious trajectory across my kitchen, propelled by the shockingly strong left arm of a child who, until very recently, was basically a sentient bag of flour. If...

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Exhausted dad sitting on a yoga mat surrounded by baby toys and twin girls

The Humiliating Reality of Trying Baby Yoga With Twins

I'm currently lying on a foam mat that smells faintly of damp digestive biscuits and municipal floor cleaner in a drafty church hall in Hackney. The instructor, a woman named Serenity who's wearing linen trousers that look entirely too comfortable...

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Tired dad tangled in a long fabric baby sling carrier

Surviving the Baby Sling Carrier When You Have Zero Coordination

I was standing in the kitchen at two in the afternoon, wearing yesterday's t-shirt and draped in five meters of stretchy jersey fabric, looking less like a modern father and more like a deeply depressed Roman senator. Twin A was...

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Mom looking exhausted next to a baby crib and a smart speaker

Don't You Worry Baby Tyler: My Huge 2AM Nursery Mistake

It was 2:14 AM. I know the exact time because the glowing red numbers of the digital clock were burning a hole in my retinas. Maya was about four months old and going through that horrific sleep regression where they...

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A tired father staring blankly at a digital baby weighing scale on a table.

A Letter to Past Me: Stop Panicking About Normal Baby Weight

Dear Tom from two years ago, currently sweating through a grey marl t-shirt in Room 4 of the local NHS clinic. You're sitting in a plastic chair that's somehow both sticky and cold, balancing two identical infant car seats on...

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Teething baby chewing on a silicone sushi toy while wearing a soft organic cotton outfit to manage excessive drool.

Lil Baby Drip Too Hard: A Mom's Guide to Drool and Outfits

I was elbow-deep in a blowout that had somehow breached the diaper barrier and traveled all the way up my youngest son's back when my fifteen-year-old nephew strolled into the living room. He stopped dead in his tracks, stared at...

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