Raising Kids, Not Nepo Babies: A Rural Texas Mom's Reality Check
I'm sitting on the floor of my living room, staring at a literal mountain of brightly colored, battery-operated plastic garbage that my oldest child just received for his third birthday, and he's crying. I mean real, full-body, gasping-for-air sobs. Why?...
Figuring Out the New MAGA Baby Savings Account Without Losing It
My father-in-law texted me at 6:15 AM in all-caps about how the federal government is apparently handing out a free thousand bucks for my kid. Two hours later, a senior developer on my engineering team Slack-messaged me a doom-scroll thread...
When Do Puppies Lose Their Baby Teeth? An Exhausted Mom's Guide
Yesterday at the feed store, old man Miller told me to just give our new mutt pup an old leather work boot to chew on and call it a day. Then I check my phone and my sister texts me...
The Messy Truth About Baby Yogurt: What I Wish I Knew Back Then
I'm currently staring at a crusty, suspicious white stain on my kitchen ceiling and I've absolutely no idea how it got there. Wait, no, yes I do. It's whole milk Greek yogurt, flung with the precision of an Olympic shot...
Costco Baby Wipes: The 2 AM Rash Panic And What I Learned
The digital thermometer on the nursery wall said it was exactly 68.5 degrees, but I was sweating through my t-shirt. It was 2:14 AM, the Portland rain was actively trying to breach our window seals, and my son was screaming...
Searching for Baby Shower Venues Near Me Without Going Broke
I was exactly twenty-nine weeks pregnant with my oldest, sweating entirely through a polyester maternity dress in the lobby of a local country club that smelled heavily of floor wax and old money. The event coordinator, bless her heart, was...
Why I Quit Sketchy Parking Lot Meetups For Rebel Baby Gear
I was standing behind a deserted strip mall somewhere between Waco and Austin, sweating entirely through my favorite maternity shirt, about to hand a complete stranger a wad of cash for a high chair that smelled faintly of sour milk...
Troubleshooting the hardware of your very first infant car seat
My wife's contractions were six minutes apart upstairs in room 412 of Legacy Emanuel, and I was down in the subterranean hospital parking garage violently wrestling a molded plastic base into the backseat of my Subaru. The Portland rain was...
How to Choose a Baby Bottle Warmer Without Losing Your Mind
I distinctly remember standing in my kitchen at 3:14 AM with my oldest kid screaming his lungs out in the other room. I was staring bleary-eyed at a frozen bag of breastmilk, listening to the hum of the refrigerator, and...