Magazine

A dad looking confused at his phone while a baby sits in the grass near a tiny bird.

What to Do When Your Toddler Finds a Baby Finch in the Grass

It's 2:14 PM on a Tuesday and I'm staring at what looks like a hairy jellybean on my concrete patio. My 11-month-old daughter is currently operating in her standard 'Roomba mode,' rapidly crawling toward the jellybean with her mouth wide...

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A tired parent trying to comfort a fussy infant during a bottle feed

Tears at Teatime: Why Your Infant Turns Feeding Into A Drama

I once tried to solve a mid-feed meltdown by aggressively bouncing on a pilates ball while simultaneously singing an out-of-tune rendition of Oasis and trying to force a silicone teat into a mouth that was currently shaped like a right...

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Exhausted dad staring at an iPad screen while his 11-month-old baby chews on a silicone panda teether on the rug

The Great "Baby Tana Porn" Autocomplete Disaster Of 2024

At exactly 7:14 PM last Tuesday, my wife stopped breathing. It wasn't a medical emergency, but rather a sharp, terrifying inhalation of pure, unfiltered judgment. We were sitting on the couch in our Portland living room, the rain aggressively attacking...

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Exhausted mom drinking coffee while baby chews on a silicone gum teether.

The 3 AM Meltdown That Made Me Finally Buy a Real Gum Teether

It was 3:17 AM in a freezing January, and I was sitting on the floor of my mother-in-law’s guest room in Connecticut wearing a stained pair of maternity sweatpants that I absolutely should have retired two years prior. Maya was...

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A father gently sweeping an infant grooming tool over a newborn's bald head

Why buying a baby comb for a completely bald infant makes sense

Before the twins arrived, my mother-in-law handed me a beautifully wrapped, eco-friendly grooming kit containing a wildly soft bristle brush and a tiny wooden toothed implement. I looked at the ultrasound pictures stuck to my fridgeβ€”two indistinct blurry blobs that...

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Confused dad holding a messy baby's breath floral garland in a nursery

Debugging The Baby's Breath Garland Nursery Disaster

It's 11:43 PM on a Tuesday, and I'm standing on a step stool in my socks, gripping a heavy-duty staple gun in one hand and a crumbling, foul-smelling botanical structure in the other. My 11-month-old son is asleep in the...

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A messy baby covered in bright orange butternut squash puree sitting in a high chair

Dear Past Jess: The Butternut Squash Baby Food Survival Guide

Put the dull paring knife down, honey. Just lay it gently on the cutting board and step away from the counter before you end up in the rural Texas ER explaining to a very tired nurse how a vegetable completely...

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A dad holding pureed homegrown organic lettuce next to a baby in a highchair

Botanical Interests Organic Lettuce Mesclun Gourmet Baby Seed

I was standing in aisle four of the Pearl District Whole Foods, aggressively cross-referencing a bag of pre-washed spinach with the CDC’s active E. coli outbreak database on my phone, while my eleven-month-old actively tried to lick the shopping cart...

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A tired dad trying to wrangle twin babies during a very messy nappy change on a vegan leather mat.

The absolute truth about a black baby changing diaper routine

It's 3:17 a.m. and I'm staring down twin number one (or possibly twin number two, the darkness and sleep deprivation blur them into one collective entity of demands) while the distinct, unmistakable aroma of impending doom wafts from her cot....

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