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The Double Panic of Baby Sitting Milestones and Caregivers
I was standing in the Target checkout line holding a massive iced coffeeβthe kind that's mostly whole milk and regret, honestlyβwhen my mother-in-law texted me out of nowhere. She said I absolutely needed to prop four-month-old Leo up with couch...
Debugging The Infant Travel System Compatibility Matrix
It's currently forty-two degrees and raining sideways in the parking lot of a Portland Target, and I'm aggressively jiggling a piece of molded plastic while my eleven-month-old son screams as if I've deeply betrayed him. I'm trying to attach his...
Finding the Right Medical Baby Synonym: A Parent's Guide to Stages
It was a Tuesday at 8 PM, which is basically the witching hour in the fluorescent-lit aisles of Target, and I was holding a fleece sleep sack with little grey clouds on it while silently crying into my half-empty iced...
The truth behind the prom night dumpster baby joke and your teen
I was charting in the pediatric ER when I heard that awful cartoon musical number playing from a teenager's phone in the waiting room. You know the one. A catchy little tune about a newborn left in the trash after...
Why I Have Major Trust Issues With Heavy Recaro Baby Car Seats
I was standing in our crushed-granite driveway in late August, sweat pooling in places I didn't know could sweat, trying to shove a piece of metal and memory foam the size of a mini-fridge into the back of my SUV....
What You Actually Need to Know About the Safe Haven Baby Box
I was knee-deep in folding tiny, mismatched socks yesterday when my phone buzzed with a notification from our local county Facebook moms group that immediately spiked my blood pressure. Y'all, it was an absolute mess. Somebody had posted a news...
Googling Lil Baby The Leaks Album During A 3AM Diaper Blowout
I was standing barefoot in the dark hallway at 3:14 AM, holding my youngest kid away from my body like he was a ticking bomb. Baby T had just managed to produce a mustard-colored blowout so completely catastrophic that it...
The Brutal Truth About Bouncing Your Infant In A Plastic Cage
When my middle child turned five months old, my mother dragged a massive, brightly colored, heavily plastic contraption into my living room right in the middle of Thanksgiving dinner. It was one of those freestanding bouncing activity centers that takes...
Why I Almost Put Hawaiian Baby Woodrose in My Baby's Nursery
I'm sitting on the floor of my oldest kid's room at 2 AM, folding a mountain of tiny mismatched socks, trying to figure out how to make baby number three's nursery look like one of those minimalist forest-fairy wonderlands you...