Did Kat Timpf Have Her Baby? A Brutally Honest Look At Her Birth
Listen, the biggest lie we tell pregnant women is that if you just buy the right organic nipple butter and write a color-coded birth plan, you'll glide into motherhood on a cloud of oxytocin. I used to stand in the...
Why the Dilon Baby TikTok Trend Made Me Rethink Infant Hearing
It was 2:17 AM and I was wearing a grey maternity bra that I really should have thrown out in 2020, sitting in the absolute pitch black of the nursery. Four-month-old Maya was finally, miraculously asleep on my chest, dead...
Don't You Worry Baby Tyler: My Huge 2AM Nursery Mistake
It was 2:14 AM. I know the exact time because the glowing red numbers of the digital clock were burning a hole in my retinas. Maya was about four months old and going through that horrific sleep regression where they...
What Elon Musk's Expanding Family Taught This Pediatric Nurse
I was wiping a suspicious volume of spit-up off my scrub top in the pediatric ER breakroom when a resident handed me a magazine with another billionaire on the cover. Everyone was whispering about the latest elon musk baby addition,...
The Brutal Reality of Buying an Extra Wide Baby Gate For Your Home
My mother-in-law told me to just line up the heavy dining room chairs to block the living room archway. My neighbor at the park swore by those wooden accordion things from the nineties, completely ignoring the massive strangulation risk. The...
My 3AM Encounter With The Notorious Gateron Baby Kangaroo
It sounded like a particularly brittle beetle being crushed under a Wellington boot, but the sharp, piercing pain shooting directly up into my left heel suggested something far more synthetic. It was 3:17 AM. I was halfway across the living...
Why Searching For Baby Reindeer Episodes Nearly Broke My Brain
I had my arms elbow-deep in a basket of spit-up stained laundry, trying desperately to find the matching half of a tiny sock, when my four-year-old started screaming at the Roku remote. I was half-listening, calculating how many Etsy shop...
That cute baby raindeer show is actually a parental nightmare
I was standing by the kitchen island at 6:45 AM on a Tuesday, wearing gray sweatpants that honestly probably smelled like stale yogurt, scraping hardened oatmeal off a plastic bowl with my thumbnail, when Leo casually walked in holding his...
Decoding Baby Quilt Dimensions When You Can't Put Them in a Crib
I'm sitting on the hardwood floor of our Portland apartment with a Stanley tape measure, surrounded by six different square-ish blankets, trying to categorize them by surface area. It's exactly three weeks after the baby shower. My wife, Maya, is...