Why Ms Rachel Works Like a Glitch in My Baby's Brain
The production database locked up at exactly 4:13 PM on a Tuesday, which was incidentally the exact moment my eleven-month-old decided his incoming lateral incisor required a decibel level usually reserved for jet engine testing. Outside, the Portland rain was...
The Truth About Sleep Gummies and Your Exhausted Toddler
The glow of the smartphone screen is harsh at 4 AM when you're holding a thrashing infant while reading an influencer's post about a miracle gummy that cures night wakings. I've been in that exact chair, yaar. It feels like...
Melanie Martinez Cry Baby: My Late Night Parenting Heart Attack
It was 10:14 PM on a Tuesday, and I was wearing a pair of sweatpants that had a questionable stain on the left kneeβprobably yogurt, possibly paint, I really didn't want to investigateβwhen my smart speaker decided to traumatize me....
The Messy, Exhausting Truth About Buying Newborn Baby Clothes
I was staring at a literal miniature three-piece tweed suit. It had suspenders. A bow tie. It was hung on a tiny velvet hanger in my freshly painted nursery, and I remember standing there, holding a lukewarm cup of coffee...
The Messy Truth About That Washable Newton Baby Bassinet
My mom sat on the edge of my couch, sipping iced tea, and told me to just put the baby in a plastic laundry basket lined with a thick quilt, because bless her heart, thatβs exactly what she did with...
What Happens When You Look Up Nothing's Gonna Hurt You Baby Lyrics
It was 3:17 AM on a Tuesday, and I was wearing my husband Dave's oversized grey college hoodie that smelled faintly of old garlic and desperation. Leo, who was about six months old at the time, was screaming with the...
Baby Oil Memes, Skincare Myths, and Our Cradle Cap Disaster
It was 3:14 AM. The blue glow of my phone was illuminating Twin A's aggressively gripping fist, which was currently tangled in my collarbone. I was scrolling blindly with my free thumb, desperate to keep my brain awake while the...
Dear Past Me: What Pete Davidson Actually Got Right About Newborns
Dear Sarah from six months ago, You're currently sitting in the Target parking lot in your embarrassingly stained yoga pants, drinking a lukewarm latte and having a full-blown panic attack. Your best friend just texted that she's officially going into...
The Unfiltered, Messy Truth About Your Baby's Diaper Deposits
We were somewhere on I-35 between Waco and Austin when the smell hit. My middle kid, who was about four months old at the time, let out a sound from the backseat that I can only describe as a bullfrog...