Magazine
Surviving The Kpop Demon Hunters Baby Phase With Twin Toddlers
I'm currently crouched behind our kitchen island at 6:15 am, clutching a lukewarm mug of instant coffee and watching my two-year-old daughters attempt a synchronized tactical roll across the living room rug. One of them is holding a rather grubby...
Why raising a gentle lady baby is an absolute, hilarious myth
I'm standing in the kitchen at 3:14 AM, wearing a dressing gown that hasn't seen a washing machine since Tuesday, trying to negotiate with a tiny human who has somehow managed to get pureed carrot inside her own ear canal....
The Absurd Truth About Searching For Lil Baby Albums Online
"Play Mozart or he'll fail third-grade math," my mother-in-law practically whispered into my ear at my baby shower, aggressively shoving a CD into my hands. Yes, an actual, physical compact disc in a jewel case. Who even owns a CD...
Lil Baby Arrested: Pop Culture Headlines and Real Parenting Fears
"Let him sit in a holding cell overnight to learn a harsh lesson about consequences," my older brother texted me after I frantically asked our family group chat for theoretical legal advice. "Lawyer up instantly, don't let the cops even...
My Massive Mistake With the Lil Baby Freestyle Playlist Search
The Sonos speaker in our living room was blinking white, which meant it was finally connected to my phone and ready to receive data. My 11-month-old son was sitting on the rug, staring blankly at the wall, waiting for some...
Lil Baby Freestyle Lyrics: Why My Playlist Had To Change
It was raining sideways on Michigan Avenue and my Uber driver was blasting what sounded like an underground club mix at two in the afternoon. I was wedged in the back seat with my four-month-old, frantically trying to cup my...
The Late Night Search History of a Clueless Dad
Dear Marcus from six months ago. You're currently sitting on the edge of the bathtub at 3:14 AM, the bathroom tiles are freezing your bare feet, and your phone screen brightness is aggressively burning your retinas because you forgot to...
Lil Baby My Turn: Surviving The 3 AM Parenting Night Shift
I'm standing in our kitchen at 2:13 AM, bathed in the sickly yellow glow of the microwave clock, staring at a slightly damp muslin cloth while holding a bottle that's somehow simultaneously burning hot on the outside and completely freezing...
My Toddler Found the Lil Baby New Album on Our Smart Speaker
There I was, elbow-deep in cold oatmeal, desperately trying to keep the twins from launching their sticky spoons at the dog, when my four-year-old casually yelled across the kitchen at our smart speaker. He’s my oldest, which means he's my...