It was raining sideways on Michigan Avenue and my Uber driver was blasting what sounded like an underground club mix at two in the afternoon. I was wedged in the back seat with my four-month-old, frantically trying to cup my hands over his tiny ears while simultaneously trying to check the decibel meter on my Apple watch. The bass was vibrating right through the plastic shell of his car seat. My son's eyes were wide, his breathing was shallow, and I was mentally calculating his cortisol levels like I was back on a trauma shift in the pediatric ICU. That was the exact moment I realized my pre-baby music habits were entirely dead.

Before I had my son, I was convinced I'd never let an infant hijack my audio environment. I swore up and down that I'd never be the mom held hostage by looping nursery rhymes or white noise machines. I actually believed my kid would simply absorb my eclectic, highly curated taste in nineties hip-hop and current rap, maybe even developing a sophisticated ear by his first birthday. The arrogance of the pre-parenting brain is truly something to study. You think you're just adding a tiny roommate to your life, but you're actually bringing home a highly sensitive neurological sponge that can't handle a fraction of the sensory input you take for granted.

Lately, I've had a bunch of parents in my mom groups asking if it's fine to just let their standard streaming playlists run in the house, specifically bringing up their obsession with the lil baby freestyle lyrics. Let me break this down for you. Lil Baby is a very talented, extremely wealthy rapper, and his 2017 track "Freestyle" is a multi-platinum cultural staple. It's also a relentless barrage of heavy trap bass, rapid-fire profanity, and incredibly explicit references to gun violence and codeine cough syrup.

The algorithm is not your friend

I need to talk about smart speaker algorithms for a second. You think you're safe because you put on a generic, chill R&B playlist while you're pureeing sweet potatoes. You let your guard down. Then Spotify decides to take the wheel. Suddenly your kitchen is vibrating, and your infant is getting a masterclass in Atlanta trap music. It's a complete betrayal by the machine. You're standing there with wet hands, covered in squash, trying to yell at your smart speaker to skip the track, but the microphone can't hear your voice over the bass drop.

Then you're stuck listening to a guy rap about mixing prescription drugs while your baby starts scream-crying from the sheer auditory assault of a 140-beat-per-minute track. It's a deeply stressful situation that always seems to happen right when you're trying to wind down for nap time. The tech companies claim they've smart transitions, but I've seen my playlist jump from Sade straight to a lil baby freestyle without missing a beat, sending my son into an absolute tailspin.

Meanwhile, keeping the television on mute with the subtitles running in the background is fine, whatever.

Auditory triage in your living room

My pediatrician, Dr. Gupta, told me last month that a baby's ear canal is basically a tiny, highly efficient echo chamber. I always kind of knew this from my nursing days, but hearing it applied to my own kid hit differently. I've seen a thousand babies hooked up to monitors in the hospital, and you'd watch their heart rates instantly spike every time a heavy door slammed down the hall or a monitor alarm went off. Dr. Gupta said that anything over 60 decibels is basically pushing their fragile nervous system straight into fight or flight.

I'm pretty sure she mentioned that their inner ear structures are still solidifying and highly vulnerable to cumulative damage, but honestly, I was sleep-deprived and mostly just staring at the wall during that appointment. The medical consensus is fuzzy depending on which journal you read, but the reality is that aggressive, high-BPM music is not building their cultural palate or making them cooler. It's just stressing them out and elevating their heart rate to a point where they can't self-soothe.

Lil Baby himself actually admitted in an interview a few years ago that he had to stop using the codeine syrup he raps about because it started messing with how he breathed and talked. It's a messy reality. As a former nurse, hearing someone rap about respiratory depressants while I'm holding a baby whose respiratory system I'm constantly monitoring is just a bridge too far for my anxiety, yaar.

Listen, instead of trying to curate the perfect cool-parent playlist while managing explicit content filters, just turn off the smart speaker auto-play and let your house be quiet for a few hours so your kid's nervous system can really control itself without fighting a bassline.

The only freestyle that matters

The only real baby freestyle I want happening in my house is my son rolling around on his playmat, babbling to himself, and figuring out how his hands work. That's the actual unstructured magic of infancy. You want them exploring their environment without a wall of sound dictating their mood.

The only freestyle that matters — Lil Baby Freestyle Lyrics: Why My Playlist Had To Change

I'm deeply cynical about aesthetic wooden toys because most of them look like they belong in an art gallery rather than a messy living room, but I honestly love the Kianao Wooden Baby Gym. I bought one when my son was three months old. I was exhausted, sitting on the floor in sweatpants, trying to put the A-frame together while he stared at the ceiling. The hanging animal toys are honestly thoughtfully designed. They give him something to focus on and reach for without overwhelming his visual field with flashing lights and electronic music.

It's one of the few things in my house that feels peaceful. He lies under it and does his own little lil baby freestyle of kicks and vocalizations. It's sustainable wood, which makes me feel slightly better about my carbon footprint, but mostly I just care that it keeps him safely occupied while I drink cold coffee.

If you want to look at more things that won't overstimulate your kid, browse our play gym collection.

Products that are just okay

People keep sending me links to the Bubble Tea Teether. I bought one because I'm a sucker for anything that reminds me of my pre-baby life getting boba in the West Loop. It's cute, but honestly, it's a bit ridiculous. My son chews on the textured silicone pearls and it definitely helps his swollen gums, but it feels like it was designed more for my Instagram grid than his actual mouth. It works, it's safe silicone, and it's easy to wash, but I'm not going to pretend it's a revolutionary piece of medical equipment.

Dressing for the floor

Because my son spends most of his day doing his floor routines under the wooden gym, what he wears really matters a lot. In the hospital, I used to see so many infants come in with terrible contact dermatitis and unexplained rashes just from synthetic fabrics trapping heat against their skin.

Dressing for the floor — Lil Baby Freestyle Lyrics: Why My Playlist Had To Change

I keep him in the Organic Cotton Baby Bodysuit almost exclusively now. It's incredibly boring to look at, which is exactly what I want. There are no itchy appliques or weird synthetic blends. It's just soft organic cotton that survives being washed a hundred times because my kid spits up on it twice a day. The envelope shoulders mean I can pull it down over his body when he has a massive diaper blowout instead of dragging a ruined garment over his head. It's pure tactical parenting gear masquerading as cute clothing.

Embracing the quiet

It's a hard pill to swallow, realizing you've to trade your favorite bass-heavy tracks for the sound of your own breathing and the occasional thud of a wooden block. You mourn your old life a little bit. You miss being the person who knew all the lyrics to the newest drops instead of knowing exactly which floorboards creak outside the nursery.

But then you watch them figure out how to grab a wooden ring, or you hear them babble a new consonant sound because the room is seriously quiet enough for them to hear their own voice. You realize that giving them a peaceful auditory environment is just another form of protecting them. Someday he will be a teenager blasting terrible music in his room, and I'll be yelling at him to turn it down. For now, I'm just going to enjoy the silence.

If you're trying to build a calmer space for your baby to figure out the world, check out our organic baby clothes and gear that focuses on quiet, sustainable comfort.

My messy answers to your questions

Is it ever safe to play hip-hop around a baby?

I mean, I'm not a monk. I still listen to my music, but I treat it like I treat hot coffee around my kid. I keep it at a distance and I monitor the volume obsessively. If you're playing it softly in the background and the bass is turned down on your equalizer, it's probably fine. Just watch their cues. If they start getting frantic or rubbing their eyes, the music is probably stressing them out, beta.

What decibel level is seriously safe?

My pediatrician threw out the number 60 decibels for ambient room noise, which is roughly the volume of a normal conversation. When you think about how loud a typical rap track is when it comes on the radio, it's usually pushing 80 or 90 decibels. I downloaded a free decibel meter app on my phone just to check my living room baseline. It made me incredibly paranoid for about a week, but it was useful data.

Will white noise machines damage their hearing?

This is a huge debate right now. The latest thing I read suggested that blasting a white noise machine at max volume right next to their crib is a terrible idea for their auditory development. I keep ours on a low, rumbling setting and place it across the room. It's supposed to mimic the muted whoosh of the womb, not a jet engine taking off.

How do I stop smart speakers from playing explicit songs?

You have to go deep into your Spotify or Apple Music settings and physically toggle the explicit content filter to block. Don't trust the voice commands to do it for you. I spent an hour locking down every device in my house after the trap music incident. It's annoying when I'm alone and want to listen to the unedited versions of my songs, but it beats having a panic attack in the kitchen.

Do I've to listen to nursery rhymes all day?

Absolutely not. If I hear "Wheels on the Bus" one more time, I might lose my mind. I usually play acoustic guitar covers, lo-fi hip-hop beats without lyrics, or just instrumental jazz. The baby doesn't care what the melody is, they just need the tempo to be relatively calm and the volume to be low. Save your sanity.