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The Absolute Terror Of Feeding Your Baby Shrimp For The First Time
I was standing over the kitchen sink at exactly 8:14 AM on a Tuesday, wearing sweatpants that definitely had three-day-old oatmeal on the thigh, aggressively staring at a single, grey, frozen crustacean. My husband Mark was hovering over my shoulder...
Debugging the Absolute Chaos of Modern Boy Baby Shower Themes
I was on row 47 of my Google Sheet, cross-referencing the hex codes of compostable napkins with three different artisanal bakery delivery zones, when my wife gently closed my laptop. It was a Saturday afternoon, roughly two months before our...
The brutal truth about baby shower prizes your guests actually want
I was thirty-four weeks pregnant, sweating through a maternity dress in a stuffy Chicago living room, watching my auntie aggressively hand out neon pink loofahs to women in their mid-thirties. The air was thick with the smell of catered samosas...
The Only Baby Shower Invitation Template Advice You Actually Need
Listen, past Priya. It's me, you from six months in the future. You're sitting in the dark at the kitchen island, staring at 47 browser tabs of mint green cardstock options, and your chai went cold an hour ago. You're...
How To Choose A Baby Shower Guest Outfit Without Overthinking
I'm currently sitting on my bedroom floor, staring at a mountain of clean laundry that I refuse to fold, trying to figure out what on earth to wear to my cousin's baby shower this weekend. I’ve got a hot pink...
The Brutal Truth About What to Buy for a Baby Shower
I'm currently sitting on my living room floor peeling dried hot glue off my thumb, trying to make a makeshift diaper cake look less like a leaning tower of trash, and thinking about the sheer amount of money I wasted...
The Truth About Baby Shower Game Prizes: What Guests Truly Want
I was standing in our living room holding exactly forty-two miniature plastic pacifiers threaded onto pastel pink ribbons, staring blankly at my wife. Outside, it was doing that classic Portland drizzle, but inside, our house had been converted into a...
The Cutest Baby Animals Myth: Why Toddlers Are Wildlife Menaces
My left hand is currently clamped around the collar of a toddler who's vibrating with the intense, terrifying desire to strangle a squirrel with pure love. We're in St. James’s Park, it's raining, and I'm actively disproving the greatest myth...
Why the Days of Our Lives Tate's Baby Drama Sent Me Spiraling
I was knee-deep in a mountain of mismatched toddler socks last Tuesday, nursing my four-month-old like a human pacifier while trying to peel tiny vinyl letters off a batch of bachelorette tumblers for my Etsy shop, when my guilty pleasure...