Magazine
Debugging The Farm Book: What Do We Actually Call A Baby Goat?
It's 5:43 AM and my brain is currently running on safe mode. My 11-month-old son is sitting on my lap, aggressively pointing a sticky, banana-coated index finger at page four of a cardboard farm book. I'm staring at an illustration...
The Scary Truth: What Is RSV In Babies (And How We Survived)
It was 2:14 in the morning, and I was staring at my four-month-old daughter's ribcage in the glow of a turtle-shaped nightlight, convinced I was losing my mind. Maya is seven now, but I still get full-body hives when I...
What Is Shaken Baby Syndrome (And The Truth About Burnout)
Dear Sarah from exactly six months ago. You're sitting on the floor of your sister's nursery at 2:14 in the morning. You're wearing those god-awful grey Lululemon leggings with the bleach stain on the knee, holding your three-week-old nephew who's...
Writing a Baby Shower Card That Doesn't Sound Completely Awkward
My mother told me a shower card must make the pregnant woman cry tears of deep joy. My buddy Dave said I should just scribble "Sleep is a lie, good luck" on a Post-it and tape a twenty-dollar bill to...
Exactly What to Write on Baby Shower Card Without Stressing
Dear Jess from six months ago, You're currently sitting in the driver's seat of the F-150 outside the Methodist church fellowship hall, sweating clean through your only halfway decent maternity-friendly dress. The baby shower starts in exactly four minutes. You...
The absolute truth about those ugly baby pictures we all hide
I was sitting there in the hospital bed, wearing a gown that had somehow become completely unsnapped in the back, holding my literal firstborn child. My husband, Mark—who usually has absolutely zero filter—was completely silent as he held up his...
Why I’m Terrified of the Internet and Buying Fox Blankets Instead
So my mother-in-law told me last week that I should just throw all our iPads into the nearest large body of water, my tech-bro brother-in-law said that if my seven-year-old Maya isn't coding in Python by now she’s basically going...
The Truth About Turkey Babies: Surviving The Meat Puree Stage
My mother-in-law cornered me by the kettle last Tuesday, brandishing a whisk, to announce that giving a six-month-old anything but pureed carrots would shatter their digestive tract into a million pieces. My health visitor—a woman who speaks exclusively in NHS...
Why the Trisha Paytas Baby Drama Makes Me Rethink Parenting
Don't crowd-source your baby's identity on the internet, and definitely don't let your mother-in-law's passive-aggressive text messages dictate how you announce your kid to the world. I learned this the hard way when I created a literal feedback form for...